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Sitting Here...

Posted by parhad on August 29, 2001 at 13:16:52:

I'm sitting here like a big dummy waiting for phone calls telling me where the sculpture is I shipped back to Detroit three weeks ago for a show I can know if I'll have the peices I need to put on the pedestals I just had made, for the show I might or might not, be able to show at. I tell you...this community has done this very thing to each and every person who has tried to bring any class or honor to it. Andre Aghassi doesn't know how fortunate he was his father DIDN'T get any "help" from Assyrians...they would have ground his face in their own shit forever after if he had.

Being such mushmouthes ourselves, we only relate to or "feel" for other mushmouthes. Any Assyrian who comes among expecting to be taken seriously or treated with respect is suspect immediately..."he can't be a REAl Assyrian"...we say, "He actually EXPECTS respect!!!!"

I've been teased with "dangling invitations" for the last two weeks. Will I, wont I, get one? Even though I had one last year and it turned out to ne of what value would one be THIS year?

People pretend there are "procedures" that must be followed, like Hanna and his friggin "rules"...when he was making the stuff up as he went along. Now I'm told there are proper ways to proceed...that you can't just go talking about everything to everyone...when I've been treated about as badly as I could by any bunch of rank amateurs who are STILL observing some kind of "procedure" that exists nowhere else in the world.

What sort of "procedure" is it to encourage me to prepare for a show you then disinvite me to without any explanation or recourse or procedure? And why the whispered and implied "invitations" that wont materialize at all, or at the "last minute". What sort of procedure is this really? It turns out to be the same old personal whims and vapors and Fan Todds we've been subjected to all along by "leaders" who haven't the slightest notion of what the word implies.

There has been no leadership at all in the way this convention has been allowed to reflect the personal wishes of one Hunny Bee. And if all that will get anyone's attention is the prospect of being humiliated and inconvenienced by being dragged through a public process, then fine and well and good...but what sort of leadership invites this sort of thing, knowing full well there is no legal justification for it all along?

Leaders aren't supposed to follow us into ruin...they are supposed to make the tough decisions which might keep us from complete disaster. Professional leaders, or leaders who earned the right and were not "annointed" for lack of alternatives, would understand that.

Jackie is no leader of any sort. She is what we call a "Maven"...someone who appoints herself to positions of expertise which she has no qualifications worth mentioning...but who nonetheless feels qualified and sanctified to decide and issue policy statements or whatever. To listen to her you'd think booking a room and getting coffee delivered to it were things beyond the ken of most mortals...and they ARE beyond the people she "leads". That's how she manages to "stand out". Well she nearly sank the Shumirum Monument when I've done it twice in two real cities with no effort except to overcome other Assyrian idiots from our community. Jackie knows squat about Art, or even less about how you deal with professional people...especially if they don't see things the way she does.

I sit here...waiting for basic consideration and fair treatment, and it's MY fault for coming to look for it among these people. I wont do it again. But I wont walk away either. I'll encourage and yell at and work with Narsai to developp an alternative, a real one.

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