Over this last Labor Day Weekend the Bejan Convention was held at the Doubletree Hotel. Several hundred Assyrians were allowed to pay their money and their respects to HMS Jackie Bejan, as this first class frigate pulled to shore.
In honor of the occasion Ms. Bejan wore a fetching black knit ensemble which could be seen for several yards coming or going. As one Assyrian was heard to comment..."she certainly cuts a wide swath when she moves." The weekend festivities included a session on "Torture in Iraq", followed by a champagne reception..."Depleted Uranium Casings as Playground Equipment"...followed by an afternoon tea, and a rather amusing take-off on the traditional "egg hunt", in which registered guests played, "Find the Mass Graves" among the shrubbery surrounding the Hotel, followed by a dance and cocktail reception at which guests dressed as their favorite "martyr".
Ms. Bejan wore a stunning black knit suit with color coded accent, set off by stylish pumps, an understated 56 karat diamond ring, diamond tiara and diamond earrings necklace and car keychain.
On other days, featured speakers were available and Ms Bejan could be seen trawling through the lobby with a host of Assyrian men hobbling along behind, all grimacing in pain, their hands clasped on their "privates"...or where they used to be. Jackie wore a really stunning black knit suit with appropriate headgear, stockings to match and an expensive looking folder.
On Sunday Ms Bejan, wearing a well tailored black knit suit, you know the one by now, conducted an "Artist Toss" in which contestants were allowed to point to whomever they didn't like and sip cocktails while Hotel Security and the Police tossed out those chosen.
The weekend ended with a formal banquet at which Ms. Bejan was resplendid in flowing Black Knit suit, accessories set on "Stun", with shoes by "Shitkicker du Paree". At the banquet she was awarded the coveted "Man of the Year" award, which she wisely turned down as being unworthy of her, or she of it.
The gala weekend came to a close with the assembled guests lined up on opposite sides of the parking lot, clutching forget-me-nots and waving as HMS Jackie Bejan steamed out of port bound for where we know not where, yet where we are certain Ms Bejan will run THAT place to rack and ruin as well.
Your reporter had an unforgettable weekend, and if someone would put a call in to my editor and get him to post bail, I 'd appreciate it.
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