Rooters: Amazing Track Record Of AUA

Posted by Rolf Dusseldorf on September 19, 2001 at 09:10:08:

FLASH!!!

In an amazing development it's been learned by your learned correspondent that something called an AUA, led by someone called a General Secretary (The boss must be on vacation), has been working dilligently behind the scenes to bring the Palestinians and Israelis to declare a cease fire...and they did. This incredible diplomatic effort isn't all this AUA has managed to do for a grateful people, behind the scenes.

For weeks now their secretary, John Nimrod, has expressed the opinion the Lefty McGurk should be placed in the starting lineup for the Chicago Cubs, and yesterday he was!!! Other recent successes of this incredibly successful organization which has triumphed where so many other governmental agencies have failed, was to have the Fed lower rates even further, create a surplus in the corn harvest this year, stave off a massive sell off in the Market, and insure a Democratic victory in the governor's race in California last year.

When asked how he, only a general sectretary at the AUA was able to bring these things about, "Johnny" said, "Just hard work I reckon, and a little luck".

When asked what else this potent organization was working on, behind the scenes of course, the secretary said..."check with me again tomorrow and I'll tell you which effort of ours succeeded."

This reporter plans to do just that.

Rolf Dussledorf
Hambergurberg, Germ.

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: FLASH!!! : In an amazing development it's been learned by your learned correspondent that something called an AUA, led by someone called a General Secretary (The boss must be on vacation), has been working dilligently behind the scenes to bring the Palestinians and Israelis to declare a cease fire...and they did. This incredible diplomatic effort isn't all this AUA has managed to do for a grateful people, behind the scenes. : For weeks now their secretary, John Nimrod, has expressed the opinion the Lefty McGurk should be placed in the starting lineup for the Chicago Cubs, and yesterday he was!!! Other recent successes of this incredibly successful organization which has triumphed where so many other governmental agencies have failed, was to have the Fed lower rates even further, create a surplus in the corn harvest this year, stave off a massive sell off in the Market, and insure a Democratic victory in the governor's race in California last year. : When asked how he, only a general sectretary at the AUA was able to bring these things about, "Johnny" said, "Just hard work I reckon, and a little luck". : When asked what else this potent organization was working on, behind the scenes of course, the secretary said..."check with me again tomorrow and I'll tell you which effort of ours succeeded." : This reporter plans to do just that. : Rolf Dussledorf : Hambergurberg, Germ.

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