Posted by Alli (160.129.27.22) on February 05, 2002 at 23:27:20:
i'm sick of the sex jokes. pancho, everyone: i usually joke because i'm responding to some stupid comment that, in MY opinion, deserves to be made fun of, whatever. anyway, i will right now proclaim my undying devotion for my boyfriend, who i really am in love with (ahem - i'm NOT bored). here is a description of him, made through another person's eyes & writing... THIS is only one reason why i LOVE my boyfriend & will have NO other. he is like a fugue to me... everything i could never be, but admire the most in other people - the exact opposite of me... this is why i have loved him since the moment i met him & he has loved me since that moment (because i'm more complex than he could ever be - i realize this)... & i don't lie when i say i'm telling the truth, pancho, not if i can help it.
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"He is not even militant or defiant about his utter selfishness. No more than he could be defiant about the right to breathe and eat. He has the quiet, complete, irrevocable calm of an iron conviction. No dramatics, no hysteria, no sensitiveness about it - because there are no doubts. A quiet, almost indifferent acceptance of an irrevocable fact.
A quick, sharp mind, courageous and not afraid to be hurt, has long since grasped and understood completely that the world is not what he is and just exactly what that world is. Consequently, he can no longer be hurt. The world has no painful surprise for him, since he has accepted long ago just what he is to expect from the world....
He does not suffer, because he does not believe in suffering. Defeat or disappointment are merely a part of the battle. Nothing can really touch him. He is concerned only with what he does. Not how he feels. How he feels is entirely a matter of his own, which cannot be influenced by anything and anyone on the outside. His feeling is a steady, unruffled flame, deep and hidden, a profound joy of living and of knowing his power, a joy that is not even conscious of being joy, because it is so steady, natural and unchangeable....
He will be himself at any cost - the only thing he really wants of life. And, deep inside of him, he knows that he has the ability to win the right to be himself. Consequently, his life is clear, simple, satisfying, and joyous - even if very hard outwardly."