parhad, you are

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Posted by Alli ( on February 06, 2002 at 14:37:53:

In Reply to: Re: give up the psychoanalysis crap posted by pancho on February 06, 2002 at 12:02:07:

my saviour...

you know, this is what i think: my role models are always those people who are so damn caught up in themselves that they have no idea that other people like them. those other people who try to be examples - they're the ones who end up hurt because no one appreciates them as much as they want. it's the ugly "truth" i've seen over & over & over.

sometimes, pancho, youmakemyheadspinaroundlikeoneofthoseglobesilovedwheniwasalittleone

& sometimes pancho, you try too goddam hard for me to like you.

this is what i did: i stopped trying & just started existing. i really did. & i don't think i'm a role model, & i don't want to be one, ever. everyone's out for his/her own skin in this country - you know that. i'm sick of the intentional "do-gooders" because in the end they screw things up (no sexual innuendo) even more - you know that. babythis & babythat, & you have a bunch of pansies to protect from the weather.

this mountainside i have no roots to cling to, & the rocks have all erroded away.

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