Posted by Rolf Dusseldorf (204.120.48.3) on February 12, 2002 at 21:39:22:
The CIA and FBI have issued a joint statement that as of the first of the coming year they will engage in acts of terror against the United States themselves...bypassing what have been a host of clumsy and inexpert contract players. "We will no longer be employing anyone else", acting Director Wallace Drumpf said," there has been too much room for error and slipshod performances." Saying the government is interested in greater efficiency and cost effective terror, the two agencies will henceforth take a direct hand in blowing things up and sending poison through the mail and other "terrorist" acts. The savings should become immediately evident and a tax cut might be in the offing..."no pun intended, joked CIA chief Dana Hrumpf.
Congress is due to take up the issue, just as soon as the Capitol Building is repaired.