Posted by pancho (18.104.22.168) on October 30, 2001 at 11:49:49:
Minutes Of First Planetary Meeting of
The Assyrian Mexican Christian World Wide and Universal Army
Secretary, Pepito Sargon.
The meeting was called to order at Rosie’s Cantina and Comfort Station at eight o’clock sharp. That was after no one showed up at five o’clock sharp, or six or seven o’clock sharp. But by eight o’clock sharp the body assembled. Conchita had gone home to her family and we called the meeting to order in the little back room she ordinarily uses. As president I sat on the bed, under a painting of the Virgin Mary, peace be to her and her husband, the most understanding man in history. The membership occupied one three legged stool and a broken chair. The meeting was called to order at eight fifteen sharp. Roll was taken and there was a motion to propose a toast to the health of the AMCWWUA in order that we get off to a good start. The motion was seconded and carried and a call was put in, through the open door, to Jose with the result that at eight twenty sharp he appeared with a bottle of tequila, three glasses and a bowl of limes.
As president it fell to me to propose the first toast and I gave them the health of our organization and the successful administration of my first presidency. A hearty cheer went round the room and the body downed the toast. Next it was PepeAshur’s turn, as vice president, and his toast covered our first order of business, just as soon as we got down to it, whatever it was he said he wished us well. There were murmurs of assent from the body and it downed that toast as well. PepitoSargon rose, saying the solemn occasion wouldn’t allow him to sit any longer, so moved was he by the noble words expressed and as anxious to add his own, then he read off a speech from the top of his head about the great days when Pancho Villa fought the gringos and his own father had been there to witness the battle of the Mesquite Plains where Pancho had routed a contingent of the US Army dead drunk and with his favorite lady Carmelita feeding him bullets and tamales by turns. This brought tears to his eyes and he ended by saying he could only wish that this proud organization would live up to those stirring days. He sat down hard and the stool splintered underneath him, which brought the body to its feet as one, well two really, and his dignity was covered over as best as possible.
It wouldn’t do as president of such an august and austere body for me to be backwards in such matters and so I gave them the health of my ancestor Sargon the second who’d routed any number of enemy armies, I couldn’t remember just then which ones exactly, and said we would never strive but to live up to the fine examples presented to us by those great men Pancho Villa and Sargon the Second. Well at that the whole body burst into cheers till there came a banging on the walls from the surrounding rooms and Jose came in to ask us to keep our politics quiet as customers were complaining and we weren’t helping business any. But we were too far gone in MexicanAssyrianism by then and our only answer to him was to bring us another bottle and skip the limes this time, that we were met there to plan great things, that all sorts of work needed to be done and if we heard any more about it PepitoSargon would tell his cousin Manuel who sat at the desk in the Policia about the time Jose sent Maria north to get that little operation…but that fixed Jose and he left us alone the rest of the night.
It was eleven thirty sharp when the last toast was made and we’d drunk the health of Enkheduana, daughter of Emiliano Zapata…that can’t be right, but I’m transcribing our secretary’s handwriting and what with the order of business that night and his poor grasp of English and my worse hold on Spanish, that’s what I see written before me. I’ll have to leave it there till our next meeting when we can entertain a motion to get it right. Unfortunately this is all we were able to get to at our inaugural meeting, but if ever an organization would profit from all the good wishes heaped upon its head and the amount of health proposed to it, this one should live a long, long time and kick some serious ass in this universe.
The meeting was called to a close when Conchita arrived for work the next morning and found the membership snoring on her bed. It was adjourned by the bringing down of a broom on the head of the secretary and the membership scattered. Our next meeting will be in two weeks and I will keep you all appraised of where we go from here.
Yours in MexicanChristianAssyrianism
Post a Followup