Second Meeting ACMWWAUA

Subject:

Comments:
: Minutes Of Second Meeting of AMCWWAUA : Collected by Pepito Sargon, Secretaria of AMCWWAUA : Listened to by PepeAshur, Vice Presidente of AMCWWAUA : Submitted by Pancho Parhad, Presidente of AMCWWAUA : Friday November 9, 2001 : The membership assembled at the usual hour, eight o’clock sharp. There was a delay in the preparation of the meeting hall as Conchita had twins to attend to. They having finished their business, the membership trooped upstairs from Rosie’s Cantina and Comfort Station at nine thirty sharp. The meeting began with a stirring rendition of the American National Anthem combined with that old warhorse…Nineveh oh Nineveh, I Can’t Stop Crying Nineveh…both sung to that Mexican favorite, La Cucaracha….for this we were joined by the Ladies Auxiliary, as soon as they were through. By ten thirty sharp all were assembled and Madame Carmelita rose to give her report on the visit to the home for Aged Ladies. : Her report follows…. : Eet waz ten turdy wen wee aribe at thee house on Avenida la Republica…Consuelo, Conchita an me. We was bringin some kinda pastry, I doan know wat but I got eet from el Presidente and he tol mee eet waz beeg deel Syrian pastry called I doan no wat and made with I doan wan to remember…but eet was terrible like el Burro undersides in dee rain. Thee ladies waz happy anyway cause who bothers with us old broads when we look like dem…you know what I mean. So wee sat around by candlelight and praise the Virgin Mary, how shee stay that way I doan know, cept the men waz all el stupido como that Jose of hers couldn’t probably hammer a nail neether. : We ate dat shtinko stuff I brought and thank god Assuncion had some tequila from her son or we would have died then and there. We talked about old times, how Rosie got started first when the city council of San Miguel had her perform for them one night and word got out that tamales couldn’t be no better than what Rosie could do an they bankrolled her to start her business. We laugh a lot and cry some because all the men we known was as bad as the ones we aint met yet. After about two hours and a good time the old broads they waz goin to sleep so we went home and we all feel a lot bedder. : There was a motion to add this report to all the rest and it passed. There’s a box on the top shelf where Carmelita keeps her plastic statue of Jesus…we put all our reports and correspondence up there for safekeeping. Next we opened the floor for new business and as there was none I brought it to everyone’s attention that we couldn’t very well stop with only one letter sent to important officials. I pointed out to the membership that on aina they were protesting being confused with Arabs and had even all gotten together to startle some officials with another letter and that we could hardly remain behind when such a shining example was set before us of activism and such. There came a loud noise from the other side of the bed…our secretary had rolled off onto one of the ladies from the auxiliary and she kicked him a good one cause as she said he hadn’t paid his dues the last two times…though he protested it was an accident and she told him to accidentally get his hands off of what no accident had ever happened to before. But as he had spoken up we concluded he’d seconded the motion and we created a committee made up of PepeAshur and two of the ladies to draft a letter. He said he couldn’t write and I explained patiently that was no drawback as understanding the letter wasn’t important… the only point…but that it was the doing of the deed that signified and he agreed to go to work right then and there. The membership adjourned downstairs for refreshments and realized a half hour later when the girls called for tequila and giggled as they did that it would be best to leave him up there alone…only we forgot to remove the tequila and an hour later he came roaring down the stairs with what he claimed was the best Assyrian letter ever written, only it wasn’t, cause he couldn’t write so he recited it to the assembled body and several of the Hands from a couple of the ranchos outside of town. : As best as I can remember it went like this…I’m translating freely here… : Sirs, : WE Arabs not are. Before you go killing people you should bother to know who you killed…and if they aint the right ones, go and kill someone else…unless you can’t find the rest or don’t much care and then why should it make any difference to you who you kill so why don’t you just call us all pumpkins and smash the whole lot of ‘em. We aint Arabs alright…we’re Assyrians, well they are at least…and if we wuz born in Arabia you could call us Arabs…like the children born there and in America are born American. We belong to any country that gives us green cards or whatever and jobs, unless it is an Arab country, in which case we stay Assyrian…and don’t ask me how either…except there is no Assyria and I’m having a hard enough time standing here as it is. We are born in everyplace BUT Arabia so we are everything But Arabs. If we were born in Assyria we’d be Assyrians but then we aren’t so I don’t know what the hell you guys are and I can’t see making such a fuss when no two of you can agree on what to call yourselves anyway. : Sincerely, : PepeAshur, Secretary AMCWWAUA : Just as soon as he feels better we’re going to commit it to writing but until then, I don’t know about you, but it seems to me to have covered the topic pretty well. The meeting was adjourned at one thirty sharp and the membership took itself home as best it could. : UP ASSYRIA!!! : Pancho Parhad, el Presidente : AMCWWAUA

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL: