To The Head of The clASS

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Posted by panch from ? ( on Friday, March 22, 2002 at 8:23PM :

In Reply to: Re: Keep your eyes on the prize... posted by Jeff from ( on Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 12:33PM :

I get requests for the skeletons and other little ones but haven't really tried to push them. They were made to keep me smiling and sane during all the craziness.

BUT...we gotta eat and the people who would buy these pieces have never heard of a lying back arsed woman named Jackster.

I wonder...if I say Jackie is backward,,,is that slander? If I say she is "assbackward", is that slander? Would she be so distressed that from then on she couldn't ever walk backwards again? If I say she is "Assbackward BIG TIME",,,is that slander? If I say she is BIGassedbackward, is THAT slander?

Why is it an insult to say someone has a big ass, if they do? It's just a physical charactertistic like a big nose or feet. I mean you can't call it slander if someone says you are ugly...they think you are and they are free to say it.

If I say Jackie has an "ugly ass" that slander? Is it slander to mention her ass at all? Why? She has one...I have have one. Where's the big deal we have to get lawyers and go argue about her ass downtown? Obviously this is more of the same harrASSment she claims I "wrongfully" accuse her of...just like the lies she signed to saying I accused her of lying. Didn't Kafka write that book? "The Trials of an Ass" or something.

What if I take it back? Will I have to go on record stating that I was wrong, I was mistaken, her ass is NOT big? And just what is "big" anyway? To a Ubangi her ass doesn't even qualify. To a Swiss person her's is another mountain range..."The Assineens".

Do the courts of this land usually get involved in this kind of dispute? Do they get involved with "gelded" bulls? I figured that's what she's done to the men around her...what's the point of putting balls on her bull? She's told me lots of times that she has more balls than all the Assrin men she knows...and I believe her. I mean she has more balls than cunt.

Is it slander to say she has a cunt? Don't lots of women have them? Aren't some women all cunt and some very little and others nun at all? Must I not talk about her cunt or her ass? Is it slander to discuss her physical attributes and body parts? What if I do it with respect...such as..."Sweet Jesus what a great ass." Or, "what a wise and discerning ass"? What if I call her ass by a formal name, as in Ms Ass...or Jack Ass? What if I praise her forearms...are those okay? What if I insult her that covered? If I just say sweet and endearing things about her ass am I okay? Is her ass protected by some sort of statue or law I don't know yours? What's her ass got that ours hasn't. I demand equal treatment!!! ASSES unite!!! You have nothing to lose and a hole lot to gain!!!

Where is Lenny Bruce when you need help with these things?

-- panch
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-- panch
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