Posted by pancho from ? (64.79.4.3) on Tuesday, April 16, 2002 at 9:47AM :
I have to tread carefully here. I have met people and know people in her club who are genuinely decent, bright, motivated and HONEST people who truly work for our Heritage. Being good and decent, they are not prepared to see, or admit, that Jackie is exactly the kind of conniving, manipulating and self-serving woman I have painted here.
Just as the contract at the convention was all Jackie's doing, though she was careful not to sign it herself and denied responsibility when the lawyers called ...the letter I received yesterday is all her doing...though this time no one person put their name to it.
I'm afraid we are again working on the "He/she is the best we have" principle...which is not only a poor excuse, but isn't true either. John Nimrod could appear naked in public eating his own feces and we'd say..."he's the best we have". What we mean is that he has achieved the most distinction in the white man's world...he's one of ten million ex state senators and you KNOW how desperate we are for any Assyrian who has the white man's stamp of approval on his ass to give us the time of day.
Hell, if I would just condescend to go get that stamp of aproval and come back...driven out of office as may be, you'd all fawn all over me and give me free room and board too...cause than I'd be more than just "one of you".
Jackie is in the same category...objectively speaking, she is nothing much...but to us poor pickaninnies, she's a big deal..."the best we have". She is just as determined to use us for her own benefit as Nimrod is, just as contemptuous of us in private as he is...but she has "IT"...that indefinebale something that Lincoln summed up in one word..."money".
It isn't that the members of her club are dazzled by the stuff, it's just that she has more spare time, is more willing to leave her husband and kids at night for what she admits are bouts with jackasses...than most others are. The Golanis fit that bill as well...we have here people who merely wish to get out of the house, for whatever reason...and short of wandering the streets aimlessly, decide to become our leaders.
We'll be posting the actual letter, registered mail no less, but let me go over the highlights because like most of the stuff I'm writing about, this involves us all, involves our Heritage and why and how it stands in such a dismal light.
First of all it took them two months to get around to rejecting me. I think the reason is that there must have been some dissension on the board...Jackie did not get her way as easily as she is used to, she had to sweat it this time. This in itself is significant. They, "regret to inform me that they cannot extend a membership to you".
Article I, section 2 of their bylaws says I have to be of Assyrian ancestry and must reside in the Bay Area region. Now, originally she hoped to use the fact that their bylaws limit membership to the Santa Clara Valley...except it was pointed out that some members don't live in that valley...so it seems her bylaws accept people from the Bay Area now...in other words, anywhere I don't presently live.
Then she says, "you reside in Mexico". That's odd cause she also filed a complaint with the court saying that I was trying to avoid servive of her subpenis and stating that I WAS a resident of Santa Clara County...oh well, being a lying bitch is her one consistant trait...at least.
And further their "members Oath' provides ..."and further promise that I will neither bear nor hold malice against any member..." and goes on to say that I have posted statements evidencing malice towards the Association, her club, and its members..."including some members(sic) in particular".
That's pure Jackster bullshit. Now she hides behind her "members". I have nothing but respect and pity, for her members and have never attacked the Association. I did point out that they were liable to a lawsuit because they allowed Jackie to speak on their behalf without first informing them of what she was doing and that made them negligent as well because they elected a fool for a president. I have posted nothing about any other "member", the only particular one being the one who has lied and damaged me both behind my back and in public.
No one bothered to sign the letter...it just says "Membership Comittee".
I don't blame them...it came down to, "it's either him or me"...and you know she would resign if I came in the door. Nothing would prove her wrong more than my coming there and being the gentleman I always am...to those who know what that means.
I helped Jackie out at every point, I gave her everything she asked for, within reason. When she wanted a gift for Rabi Yako, the man she is widely said to have done the dawg with, I complied and gave her a bronze to give him...when she wanted a bronze to auction off, I gave her one...I also gave her club that Lamasu that sits in her home instead. When she said we should put the Shumirum in San Jose, I agreed...when it meant delaying our move to Mexico, and my other work, by four months. I agreed...when she needed me to write to the Arts Council, I did...when it was necessary for me to go to San Jose and walk around looking for a site...I did it three times...and all the time it broke my heart to put the monument anywhere else but in Chicago because I promised Helen before she died I would do that. I did everything and was such a favored friend of hers that I was welcome at her table in the early mornings and late at night, alone, and as friendly as you could imagine.
All of this...ALL of this came about because I wouldn't go that extra distance she thought her money and assets were well worth...because of the rude awakening that it was friendly business between us and I was NOT dazzled by a single thing about her..."things" that had always worked for her before.
That's all it was...that's what she ruined by reputation in the community for...that's why I am away from my children for the second time in six months, trying to raise what sales I can so we can survive. All of this was because I would not BEND to that fucking woman's will...I would NOT fuck that woman...and she has been trying to fuck me since that day.
I don't blame her club members at all. When you need a leader that badly, you will get bad leaders. Jackie, Golani and Nimrod are misusing your talents and your energies...in their own mad need to escape their homes, they are inventing boondoggles of projects to keep you all away from your homes, spending countless hours and breaking your backs to achieve...what??? Eventualy you all lose interest, which is JUST what they want. They wear you out, bore and frustrate you into quitting, whether you last a year or sixteen...because the kinds of things they envision, or can pull off, are minor and insignificant...given the need, the long view, AND your real talents. But...as you quite and fall away, THEY shine even brighter because of their "dedication".
Bullshit...they don't lose interest beacsue they are dedicated to THEMSELVES...whereas you don't realize that the real cause of your dissilusionment is NOT that you are lacking in true and deep feeling for your Heritage...but that without realizing it you have been tricked into devoting your time to promoting THEM...to promoting Jackie and John and Atour Golani. THAT's the real reason your energy gives out...yet you walk away feeling badly...as if you had been tested and found wanting somehow...that's the ultimate insult and dlap in the face jackie deluivers to you all...and you thank her for it and back her up for it.
After all the frustration of the past years and what looms ahead, I don't lose interest or desire because I am dedicated to the Heritage and NOt to any individual, not even to myself. If I were dedicated to myself, my family, my own security and "agenda"...I wouldn't be here another minute, as Jackie, Golani and Nimrod would leave in a minute when you stop serving them and serve US instead.
What would you have rather I'd done...fucked the woman so we could keep up appearances???
Do you have any idea of what she says about you in private...of what she says about Assyrians in general and the other organizations? If "ill feeling" towards others in the club were the issue, you would never have elevated her to your presidency.
One way or the other, I will rise out of this. I will write, I will make sculpture...I will be around a lot longer than Jackie ever will be. You people of San Jose were once thought to be different...you certainly thought yourselves above the sorts of things that Chicago and Detroit have been known for. In this action you sank lower than they ever did. Jackie has taken you straight backwards and down to an even lower level. I was never expected to have sex with John Nimrod or Atour Golani...NEVER was that used as an issue to hurt me. But your club, in your city, has been comandeered by this woman you gather round because she has the spare time, and in deference to her "wishes"...wishes I wouldn't bend to...you've allowed her to slime you and slander your good name by using you and the Association to serve her need for revenge. You have become an extension of her frustrated lust for power and need to dominate. for as long as I am going to live I will remind all of us the world over of just what the real reasons are that we drive away honorable people and misuse those who remain behind to be shafted and abused and used by the Jacksters among us.
Really, and truly, and most sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry for you. Shame on you for joining her in this action. I will be what I am, known for my work as I will or wont be. But it will always be remembered that you locked out an Assyrian like me, because he wouldn't bed a woman like that!
YOU live with it.
-- pancho
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