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Posted by Alli from ? ( on Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 9:23PM :

In Reply to: Re: you have it all wrong about me, Parhad posted by pancho from ? ( on Thursday, February 28, 2002 at 7:30PM :

+++I think you are one fucked up broad in college looking up the arse end of bugs and thinking you've found a universe in there.

there IS a universe inside "bugs" - there is a universe everywhere i look.

+++I also think it was a lot more than date rape and like most children in your place, me included, you think you deserved the awful way you were treated and you decided to live on the surface of things cause deep down inside it's all unsettled and hurts way too much to even think about going down there to try and sort things out, things that happened to hurt your feelings about yourself...things that happen to us all way before our minds are developed enough to figure out what we did wrong as against all the things that were done wrong to us.

i read an interesting article in the March 2002 issue of Scientific American "Scars that won't heal: The neurobiology of child abuse" (p.68-75). apparently many children who undergo trauma of any sort (neglect, emotional (i.e. verbal), physical, sexual) are permanently affected, beyond mere neurosis, some to the point of psychosis. it's a sad correlation, but it makes sense: trauma exacerbates behavioral predisposition (learned or innate). perhaps this is due to some sort of reinforcement of various survival techniques forced on the child at an early age? to quote the authors:

"The aftermath of childhood abuse can manifest itself at any age in a variety of ways. Internally it can appear as depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts or posttraumatic stress; it can also be expressed outwardly as aggression, impulsiveness, delinquency, hyperactivity or substance abuse...."

the authors go on to discuss various psychiatric conditions child abuse victims have an increased predisposition for & the various physical brain development processes that have been observed to deviate from "normal" in this population of "affecteds." if this happens to one child, think of the implications for a whole population (Iraqi -Kurdish, Assyrian, etc. - Palestinian, South African, African-American, Japanese-American, European Jewish...).... one could even begin to make a physiological explanation for the rebellion that many of these peoples have made that extends beyond mere frustration & anger.

+++I further think that you decided to be giant among little things cause you aren't sure of the stature you might have had, had you not been chopped off at the KNEES!!!

who's hysterical now? again, i think you are PROJECTING. have YOU addressed everything like you want me to? are you in denial about how much, to every extent, that the Assyrian community has hurt you? is that what you imply????? so what about my past? what about YOURS????? i've come to terms with myself & other people as best as i can - have you? or is this what the lawsuit is about, among other things?

i think i may have hurt you, & this is why you respond like this. as you show, revenge is natural. i have no hard feelings toward you. i don't care what you think about me, but i do care for you. i hope your law suit goes as well for you as you want it to.


-- Alli
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