Attorney Hunting Laws

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Posted by panch from ( on Monday, January 06, 2003 at 4:13PM :

This isn`t mine...sent to me to enjoy.


372.01 -Any person with a valid state rodent or armadillo hunting
license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and
sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

372.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The
use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.

372.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse.
If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead
attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should
proceed to the nearest car wash.

372.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power
boat, helicopter or aircraft.

372.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE
SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

372.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,
Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

372.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals.

372.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have
a licence to hunt, trap or possess the same.

372.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter,
accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant for the
purpose of hunting attorneys.

372.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2
Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3
Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2
Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4
Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered species.)

-- panch
-- signature .

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