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Posted by Jeff from d53-237-236.try.wideopenwest.com ( on Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 3:47AM :

Committee for the Liberation of Iraq – Join Us!

8 November 2002

Thank goodness for educated, brilliant men like Edward Luttwak and Newt Gingrich and Richard Perle.

I’m glad they’re doing the thinking as we start this imperial preemptive war with Iraq. Liberating the Iraqi people from 23 years of Saddam Hussein’s rule is a dazzling idea.They’ve been waiting ever since 1968 when the Ba’ath dictatorship first started under General Ahmad Hasan al-Bakr.

I’m no mathematician, but that’s about 34 uninterrupted years of dictatorship! It’s going to be a damn fine liberation.

Remember the meeting two days ago on the five-sided island ?Well, the war phases are now defined for policy purposes -- “pre-liberation” and “post-liberation.”Another really smart guy thought that up and will be briefing the Secretary imminently. I’m no English major, but I like the sound of it.Almost poetic.

Edward Luttwak, renowned historian, wrote today that “No war is easy and no war is exempt from uncertainty, but a swift victory is the much more likely outcome…” and that the Iraqi people will rise up and embrace their liberators.I’m no historian, so I have to say, “Why not?”

Luttwak assures us that, “Once U.S. and British forces arrive on the edge of the city, the people of Baghdad are far more likely to turn against their oppressors than to fight the troops who would free them at last.”

Free at last, free at last.

Now, I’m no activist, but somebody ought to put that in a speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial!

But it seems that gleaming razor-sharp intellectual brilliance isn’t enough.Somehow, the American people are not yet completely convinced. Enter the Project for a New American Century (the authors of our new National Security/Military Strategy).They have a kick-ass statement of principles and they’re going to save the day.

These fine men (PNAC founders included Wolfie, Rummy, Cheney, Libby and Jeb Bush) are sponsoring, with President Bush, John McCain and a few others, a new group called “The Committee for the Liberation of Iraq .”

One of the token female members of PNAC, Midge, is married to Norm Podhoretz, father of the neo-conservative movement, and intellectual father figure and advisor to Perle, advisor to Rummy and Wolfie and Cheney and Libby and Bush.

Whoever said West Virginiawins the award for least number of branches on the family tree!

But I digress. It’s just because I am so elated that “The Committee for the Liberation of Iraq” is moving “to press thecase in the United States and Europe for ejecting Hussein from power.”

You have to admit, the American people are a stupid bunch. And the Europeans are even worse. It’s about time we had a cabal of really wise and committed old men to help President Bush convince the American people to fund and fight this preemptive war to unseat a dictator, liberate his people and completely disarm him (and his oil).

I’m on board! I want to help! And I’ve got some great ideas for the new propaganda campaign:

It’s easy! His soldiers are wimps and his people are tired and poor!

It’s fun!Just like old times, we can get together and watch laser-guided bomb videos with some buddies and a case of beer!

It won’t cost much! We didn’t need those social security checks anyway, and if we spend it today, we’ll all be better off tomorrow! Trust me!

Iraqdoesn’t share our values. Isn’t the head of their bio-weapons program a wicked evildoer of the female persuasion? I think that tells you everything you need to know about how women are held back in Iraq!

It’s the right thing to do. Hussein and the Ba’ath Party are the Reds for this decade, and we need to teach them a thing or two about democracy and justice. It is God’s will, and Israel is too busy teaching the Palestinians, so let’s roll!

It will help win the war on terror. New and more frequent terror attacks on Americans will create helpful after-the-fact evidence.This in turn drives the relentless pursuit of excellence that so defines the 100+ agencies of our homeland defense apparatus! Look how great we did on finding the anthrax mailer and the Washington snipers!

Well, I’m waiting for my call from the Committee. I’m sure it won’t be long!

Taken from:

-- Jeff
-- signature .

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