Chump Reynolds...The Movie

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Posted by Farid Parhad from ( on Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 1:20PM :

His latest piece of horse manure...after the BIG lawsuit that heīll be winning any day...and the 100 acre ranch in New Mexico that doesnīt exist, owned by a brother who wants nothing to do with him...comes now, THE MOVIE SCRIPT.

What is most fascinating about this guy and his wife is not what THEY are or do...itīs the people who rally around them. Theyīve found a way to insinuate themselves into every forlorn personīs frantic hope that they will yet achieve something meaningful in their horribly mundane existence by joing Chumpīs "team".

These people see themselves in the movie about Chump Reynolds...they picture themselves being addressed from the podium at the Acadamy Awards one day Chump srides up to deliver his acceptance speech...for lying through his store bought teeth. The very glasses heīll read with will be the ones I bought him.

Only he wonīt have his chaps...or his silver spurs...specially made for him by a guy who died the next day...thatīs supposed to mean they are the last and most special ot their kind. On the spurs, which fit nicely thank you, are the initials "RS", in silver too. He said theyīre the initials of the guy who made them, a real artiste or something...another lie. His father gave them to him and they initials stand for "Rat Shit"...which is how he was affectionately known to his family...growing up as a young turd.

And he wonīt have his trademark black Stetson...I have them all...picked them up after they ran to town in the grips of a severe case of heroic fan tods.

See...their first charge against me was for being a pedophile...they claimed I was taking pictures of their daughters two in the afternoon with my own daughter and son in the car with me...the perfect time and conditions under which pedophiles operate. The authorities didnīt even wait for a response from me before they dismissed that one.

Then the next one was for following so closely behind the horses their three daughters were riding (my horses) a meter behind, that I caused poor Hurrican to rear, thereby throwing one daughter.

That wasnīt how it happened at all...I had my son and daughter with me again...we were following several meters behind and on an entirely different road. I parked the over a fence with my camera and waited. The girls cleared a ridge and the 17 year old one riding Hurrican bareback came thundering downhill at me. I stood there...didnīt make a move...and waited. I think Chumpo told everyone I was a chickenshit at many of their pals have made the mistake of pretending to want to confront me...then thought better of it. I guess itīs the only way he can explain to himself my kindness and generosity and trust...sure signs of a coward, in his manly book. the girl pulled up she went flying...did a flip in the air and landed very hard on the rocky ground. Sje got up slowly, in tears and pain and picked up a rock as if to throw at me. I still hadnīt moved...why should I? I asked if she was okay...said this was business, nothing personal...said her parentsd werenīt going to cheat me as they had so many people. Hurrican ran off and she climbed up to where her two sisters were watching...she couldnīt find her other sandal...I picked it up and handed it to her...asked again if she was okay...and left.

Now Chump...when he tried to run me over with his horse, kept repeating, among other things, "Make my daughter fall off her horse will you"? To which I replied..."you know that never happened". By the way, the day I was playing at pedophilia...with their neighbors visiting, Celina made a big show of chasing the Bourbon away...she ran out her gate waving a huge kind of pliers used for horse shoeing...she ran after the car and heaved the thing with all her might...the thing went way wide and next thing I saw were her heels pointing to heaven in a cloud of dust...none of these people can remain upright for long.

So anyway...ole Chump is supposedly mad as hell at me, being a true Dad and all, for supposedly causing his daughter to fall off her horse...itīs the one family characteristic they all share thatīs not illegal...and thatīs why heīs doing whatever it was he was doing. Itīs a lie of course, but they always get stuck having to live their lies out to the full...they force it on themselves cause they have to keep people believeing in their lies...and eventually they fuck themselves over because of it...

But in his threats he made the mistake of saying he and this Lorenzo Obispo fella were going to fix my daughter. Now mind you, as far as I know they hadnīt yet done anything but say it...maybe to scare me away...but I showed him what a real father does when he perceives a real threat made at his children...not the bogus porno charge and the horse rearing bullshit...what a father does is come close to killing the person making the threst.

If Chump was the father or cowboy he pretends he is...he would have nearly killed ME that day. Thatīs how it works...Chump.

-- Farid Parhad
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