There Is A Providence

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Posted by The Iraqi Kid from ( on Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 1:43PM :

One of the members of The Hole In The Head Gang is a Mexican native...suffice it to say that his last name, in Farsi, translates to "Fartman". Fartman is the one with the gringa wife I supposedly attacked with an axe. What´s really funny about this story is that Fartman told the police he drove between his terrified wife and me weilding an axe...waited while she got in the truck...then drove off, leaving me waving my tomahawk in the air I suppose.

What really happened was that there was no axe...and Fartman tried to run me over...missed and hit my Bourbon instead...then drove off. Now just picture to yourselves this scene...there I am, wild eyed and big nosed...striding towards Chump´s house where Mrs. Fartman is holed axe dangling from my lip...well why not.

Twenty meters away is Fartman hisself digging a big hole to bury Hurrican who´s been rotting away for two days in the hot sun. Fartman sees me menacing his wife...hops into his truck and smashes into my Bourbon when I jump behind it...then he drives off.

If you were a psychopath with an axe to grind into Mrs. Fartman...and her husband just tried to squash you but smashed your car instead...what would you you saw him drive away leaving his little Fart behind?

I don´t know about what you´d do...but I got into my truck and went home.

So later in the week Fartman goes on the cablenews chanel here in town and breathlessly recounts the axe attack on his wife...he doesn´t mention ramming my car and running away...and as a finishing touch he says the authorities impounded my Bourbon because I was running over people and horses with it.

Just his luck. The day of the accident with the bus, my translator happened to be driving the other way and saw the whole when she and I appear on TYV to rebut this butthead, she´s able to give the lie to him...tells the good people that wasn´t why my truck was impounded at all...that it was as a result of a traffic accident...damfool had to go and lie on air...and get caught at it.

By the way...the police made a mistake towing me at all and the insurance company lawyer is filing charges against the cop. That day Leslie Harrow was around screaming in everyone´s ear that I was a psychopath...ran people over, carried a gun etc. She did such a convincing job the arresting officer came up to my wife and asked if her husband was crazy. Nice people.

-- The Iraqi Kid
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