Damn Flies

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Posted by farid from customer-148-233-78-77.uninet.net.mx ( on Monday, June 16, 2003 at 2:32PM :

The Wisdom Of The New Modern American Policy.

Now I get it. With seven horses, four dogs and 10 cats you can imagine the flies we've got...they breed too, constantly, a lot like Arabs and Asians. No matter what you do, they get in the house. It's my job to go around murdering them...sometimes I catch and release them outside. At other times I catch them and smash my hands together...if that doesn't do it I stomp them to mush with my foot when they flutter to the ground. My favorite is to flick them with the end of a cloth...sends them flying, they sort of vaporize right in front of you...what's left of them their mothers wouldn't recognize.

Then just today I realized that those little bitty things banging against the window glass by the dozens are baby flies...waiting to grow up, mate, buy a house and breed another cycle. No WONDER we're killing Iraqi children...I mean try solving a serious fly, or Muslim, problem and you too will discover the "Madeline Albright Eradication Policy" .

Why just kill parent flies? Goddamn it I've seen them humping away on door frames and tablecloths, right before my eyes...just like them Arabs. At first I didn't want to smash them into each other during coitus, "Dear, not THAT far"!...but fuck 'em...now I take special delight in imagining girl fly cooing to boy fly..."unzip damn ya"...and then, WHAM! coitus interruptus Big Time!

But even that isn't as efficacious a policy as killing the babies. As Abraham Lincoln said, "Dead babies don't breed". To which Dean Swift added, "waste not, want not".

-- farid
-- signature .

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