Posted by Secretary General from ? (220.127.116.11) on Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 8:52PM :
Jorge W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
NW Washington, DC 20500
Dear President Bush,
I am writing you on behalf of 7 million Assyrians, Chaldeans, Syriacs, and Yoyos, as well as some Aramaeans, and other indigenous ethnic groups in and around Iraq. I am the secretary general of the Global Dominion for a United Christian Front in the middle east near Iraq (or GDUFIMENI for short). Although we don't have a country, I am the leader of my people throughout the world.
My people have been kicked from pillar to post for centuries, sort of like the Jews. But we hate the Jews. It's ironic that we hate Jews, considering our religion is an offshoot of Judaism. But I digress.
We are the indigenous people of Iraq, sort of like the Native Americans in America. We should own the land. We were there first.
If you could take your council of 25 in Iraq and just let all of those Kurd Turk Arab and other Muslims know that we should be in charge, that would be just great.
Now, I know what you are thinking: You have probably never heard of us. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: If you want to see what life would be like in Iraq under our leedershit, come to Chicago over Labor Day Weekend for the 888th Annual Assyrian American National Federation Convention. See what it's like when we are in charge for a change.
It's too bad it only happens once a year. Each year that I have gone to these conventions for the past 20 years, I utter the following phrase when I arrive: "It's about fucking time."
Now, please do me the honor of putting your fellow Christians in charge in Iraq so I can fly back home and say the same phrase in Sourath.
God Bless You, our Exulted Leader.
Ghassan Ashur Yoyan
-- Secretary General
-- signature .
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