For Love of Leslie

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Posted by farid from ( on Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 1:12PM :

So there I was, shopping in town at a little store that has a good selection of goods...standing in line wating to pay, when who comes but Leslie, of the Hole in The Head Gang. She ties her dog up by the door and walks past me with her simpering "I love the world" look she besows on the natives. As she comes close I give her my standard greeting for this kind of person..."you fucking bitch". She walks past and then I feel her clammy hand on my shoulder...she looks damp. I turn to face her...she's a big woman, shock of blonde hair. She fixes me with her warm piss eyes and says, "You know Fred, I could learn to love you again"?

AGAIN? When were we in love before? I tried being polite at a distance from these people since we moved here...never wanted to join their chummy neighborhood...hell I've had more privacy in New York City than I've had on this hillside in the mountains of Mexico.

I was too stunned to give her a proper, formal response...someting I've never done in my life because it was never called for, not because I'm above doing it...I didn't spit in her face. Instead...her white fishook still on my shoulder...I said, "After you've done the kinds of things you have to a family that never did a damn thing to want to LOVE me"? Her response was to say I'd "threatened" to sue them. Now I ask many of you want to do away with legal redress and go back to shooting it out with your neighbors and their children and they with yours? Suing people is nasty as it may get, it's a marked step up from shooting someone in the back and getting hanged yourself. I ha reason to want tot ake them to Law because they were lying about the ownership of the horses, the rent they weren't getting, the four months rent I paid to them for Lew and a host of other things. I figured going to court was better than helping someone trample them under a horse...or lying about child pron and hotographing girls undressing and chasing girls with my truck and the other 10 charges they made that were thrown out...even the attack got turned back on them...noting for these consummate asshole worked and NOW she wants to be in love with me?

She walked away...without the smile when I told her I'd leave a mark on her she'd carry to her grave...the rest of them as well...didn't matter how long it took...didn't matter where or when, they would neer be quit of me.

When I asked my lawyer what the hell that could have been about she said perhaps now that one issue at least has come to court and they have to follow through, testify under oath this time...that making the charges at the DA's office and with the police is one thing...swearing to them and more than that...being cross-examined, for a someone not at all interested in how much tit shows through your blouse, or how you cry, or flatter and kiss up to...or even how attractive your daughters and how many mayors you know...someone like say a very good and plucky might have second thoughts. I digress to point out that Jackie's going to have it a lot worse because I won't have a lawyer...she'll have to look as close into my face as she can brazen out and answer the questions I put to isn't it true that not only did she complain about her in particular to an Assyrian doctor in Chicago until he finally stopped taking her calls...but to me as well...and does she want me to repeat the nature of her complaints. She got the best lawyer money could any whore he was willing to do whatever was asked of him...even though he knew she'd live to regret it.

Maybe Leslie was trying to appear less see what my reaction would be, because she doesn't want to continue this war they started all the way into court. The police are looking for them to give them another summons. Lew and Celina are hiding nearby...I know where...and Leslie doesn't want to be the only one to have to give testimony. At least that's our guess...she can't seriously think I want any love from her.

Still puzzled I spoke with a neighbor here a couple of days later and found out Leslie and her husband are selling or giving everything they can't get into their Echo and leaving the country...whether for Canada, the States or in the opposite direction no one knows...or isn't saying. They supposedly left before...maybe this time they really mean it.

Could they finally have had enough and been turned on by Lew, like I was? Did they run out of money, patience...did they just get sick of the whole thing? This neighbor asked me if it was true I'd posted a $50,000 reward for Lew's capture. That was a new one. I haven't and woldn't do such a thing. We did mention to Luis Fartman Cervantes that there is a reward for him...and despite his showy refusal, I happen to know he's seriously considering it. Leslie has let it out that they're leaving because of this reward I've suposedly offered...their reason being that people will start hounding them to find out where Lew is to turn him in. That sounds pretty screwy till you remember you're dealing with people wo're planning what to wear to the Oscars already.

We'll have to wait and see. Leslie is supposed to appear in court soon. If she ignores it a second time she could be where I was only longer...cause they wouldn't trust her a third time...sort of like Lew. See...he rubs off on people. If they're leaving and the others don't testify, I don't see how the case over Lew's injuries can go forward.

Leslie isn't leaving, if they are, on my account, or because of any reward. She threw all of her "capital" in the community, built up over years of "helping" everybody do anything...including run someone down with a horse...and all of it was blown on Lew. To Leslie and the rest of them lew represents some rare, unique phenomenom you only find in myth and one said the guy didn't work. What they never caught onto, especially as they grew more and more perplexed that nothing was being done about this Eye-Raqi scourge, was that officials here have seen a hundred escaped con artists from the States down here. To them he's a dime a dozen and they couldn't figure out why people who looked as if their heads were on straight were going on and on in their efforts to save this one prick. Instead leslie and her gang came away thinking there was something wrong with MEXICANS! Go figure.

-- farid
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