The Next Crap Of Leeders

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Posted by farid from ( on Sunday, September 07, 2003 at 12:58PM :

There are a few up-and-coming ones I know of and probably a lot more in waiting. Why not...what could be easier than diclaring yourself a "Leader Of The Assyrian Nation In The Diaspora And Kebob Palace $5.99 All You Can Eat"? Jackie Bejan wouldn't dream of starting up an Armenian organization...but Quean Of Assyria...why not? Where's the competition...who cares...who's ever going to hear about it anyway? What does IT matter...what does SHE matter...and finally, what do WE matter?

These people have a full-Nelson stranglehold on us...not that they couldn't be blown...ahem, out of the water...but this thing has become so damn embarrassing no one with any sense wants to challenge them...not because they are formidable, on the contrary because they've made the whole thing seem so utterly worthless that it's become a sort of back-alley way to "gratess" for an assortment of taxi drivers, engineers, lawyers and ice-cream parlor big shots...who don't watch that much television and are eager to get out of the house at night.

How often did I go to Jackie's house of an evening to find Lincoln sprawled in front of the TV, the boys in jammies next to him, while down the road Jackie was conducting "National Business" by pouring over the accounts of their last Mar Markie cake sale to make sure it really was $231.00 they cleared and how many cupcakes were wasted...and all for Assyria. And when she came home late, she'd slam her important papers on the table and rail against and and call "her people" every name which Lincoln would do an even bigger slow-burn. Truth is Jackie just can't sit still...give her an Assyria to occupy her off hours or a knitting circle and she'll be content. Same with these other leaders who think to add some deep meaning to otherwise bland lives by dabbling in "Nation Building". Yawn...

While you might know others, first and foremost on my list is my own cousin Robert de Kelaita of Chicago. He's a lawyer, which is good because he can lead us from the front seat of a Bavarian made car...we're sticklers for details. He's sort of paid his dues by vulcanizing his spine over the Nation Working hours he's put in till he's able to bend any way the wind long as it blows in circles. We couldn't ask for a better leader as long as we want to go nowhere in style and dash. He's one of those who after years of making a tremendous fuss over nothing...will "retire" with our gratitude for "all he's done"...especially as he'll risk nothing and we won't be any worse off...which has become our measure of success.

Then there's Firas Jatou, a man terribly upset with Saddam because he wouldn't allow Assyrians to keep their names...till he came to America and decided his name might prove to be a liability and all on his Saddam anywhere but inside his head...he toyed with the idea of becoming Frank Jones. I don't know which is worse...dying of fright at the thought of some thing...or just dying of fright. And maybe the Assyrians who went along in Iraq, changed their names and downplayed their religion...with a "Hitler" such as Saddam breathing over them...would be better understood by Frank Jones that he too decided it was better to go along in order to get along. Only..what's this? There is NO Saddam in mean NO ONE has a policy here forcing name changes? You mean all by himself...maybe with thoughts of "market forces" working in his empty little head...he just decided all on his guns to the head or threats...that he'd be better off as Mr. Jones. I can understand the pressure in Iraq...I can't understand...well I can, but it isn't pretty to aspiring leader of ours doing such a thing without a gun to his who "loves" Assyria and all. Except that maybe he wants to advance at work and doesn't want his children to be hassled in a Christian country no bloodthirsty Muslims in sight.

I just made myself ill...these two are enough...can't bear to think of others. Yuck.

-- farid
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