Bush Team Meets Prior To 9/11

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Posted by panch from ? ( on Saturday, May 18, 2002 at 9:56PM :

There they all are, Bush, Condi, Cheney, Rumsfeld...several aids going in and out. They're in the main man's office...some days before the 9/11 attacks. Folders and memos are spread out on the tables and floor and everyone is in deep thought.

Bush: I just barely won that one...what do we do to keep the nation from wounding itself by engaging in divisive disquietude...how do we bring everyone together so we can get some more of that oil and keep those people hopping? And what about all these reports about Al Queda...is he a Democrat?

Cheney: (groans) No...sir. That's the terrorist organization we helped set up by attacking their parents and children. Some disturbing reports are coming in that they may be planning to blow some things up, using some other things...some day...real soon.

Condi: That's right sir. We're of course on top of it, but I'm not sure we can actually do anything about it...it would be tragic if they hit us and we were unprepared. I think it would be wise...since we can't expect to put these dots together...to come up with a bold plan for action and retaliation...in case there is any truth to these..."unsubstantiated and vague reports".

Bush: I see what you mean. You're saying that, just in case something does happen...we should be prepared to bring the country together to heal whatever wounds might be inflicted on us. That we should maybe order some extra flags and things and stand by with cranes and ambulances...just in case they're needed...so we can rush all possible help to our fellow citizens...right?

They all nod in vigorous agreement.

Powell rushes in...

Powell: We've just recievd reports of three camels tied up outside of Mel's Flight School...but can't say yet who they belong to...probably some nutty peace group. Also three "Arab" types were seen boiling coffee over an open fire at the end of runway number three at Dulles...probably some early Trick or Treat nuts. The Arab type student who wants to fly airplanes short distances without landing, could be an exchange student from an impoverished country...and the recent attacks on our embassies and the previous one on the WTC are isolated incidents.

Cheney: We really could just say something like..."Second guessing is second nature"...if of course in the unlikely event of something happening...something which of course we can't really predict right now...right?

Bush: Right...I mean if I stand there crying, with a megaphone in my hands with Robert Di Nero holding me up...the American people will believe I am shtrong on terrism and would do all I could to protect them.

Powell: Do you want an overfly of jets at any memorial or should we beam two lights up in the sky.

Cheney: They both sound pretty good to me.

Condi: Don't forget the families...my god those poor families...we really should do something special for them. And the children...maybe we could have them in the Rose Garden for some medals or something.

Bush: Fine...what are you going to wear?

Cheney: I think something dark yet not too severe. people will want to see some positive signs of hope...maybe a corsage for the First Lady?

Condi: I'll make sure we have some set aside from the dinner with Bill Gates next week. Personally I don't think pants would do...looks too businesslike.

Bush: I agree...I just hope we can keep the girls sober till then. When do you guys think it could be?

Powell: It's hard to say sir, these things are much easier to instigate than control...and predicting them, well that's a new science we haven't got down just yet...but I'd say with the bombing we gave them the night of your innauguration...can't be long now.

Bush: Alright. Let's go to the Press Conference now so I can reassure the American people that we will be shtrong and come together as a nation...accept the will of the people...and put aside our differences.

Condi: Should work.

Bush: I'd feel a lot better if I knew exactly when those guys would hit us...though of course I hope they never do.

They did.

-- panch
-- signature .

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