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Posted by Lilly from ? ( on Monday, June 10, 2002 at 4:03PM :

In Reply to: why posted by Lilly from ? ( on Monday, June 10, 2002 at 1:01PM :

Social activity is necessary to your development as a young adult, but most people make sex & partying out to be more than they really are. Much, much more.

I mean, I was one of those girls who bitched & moaned a couple of times about not being able to go out as much as I wanted to in high school. But now that I think back on my life in high school, I didn't really miss anything worth all that effort & emotion. & I had a blast with my friends whenever I could go out with them. In undergrad, because I was so determined to do everything my parents didn't want me to do in high school, I went a bit wild my 1st year, & calmed down after I went to parties & realized that most of the really "hot" guys my friends drooled over were either assholes or stupid, or both. At parties, any time I wanted to dance (besides when I swing danced), swarms of "cute" guys were practically dry humping me on the dance floor. Maybe it's a bit flattering for a while - all that attention - but then you look around & realize that most of these guys are too drunk or high to really notice who you are, or to like you for who you are. Hell, those guys would do anything with a hole in it when they're like that. So, come to think of it, exactly how flattering is that??? & moreover, that drunk/high asshole/idiot who's most likely going to try to pressure you into sex w/ him is probably not going to be any fun in bed in that state, or any state for that matter - b/c when you're f*cking, you are *bound* to notice his bad breath, stinky farts, annoying arrogance, or sheer stupidity, if he can even manage to give you an orgasm in that drugged up state of his. & if you sleep with him & other random guys you pick up at parties regularly, you also have to start testing yourself on a regular basis for STDs, b/c god only knows you don't want to get genital herpes, crabs, genital warts, or HIV, & condoms, if you actually use them, aren't always that effective. Or, worse yet, you end up pregnant, forced to consider whether you want to keep this child you conceived when you were out of your senses & had sex w/ some idiot you didn't know well enough to assess whether stupidity like his runs in his family.

Even though I was getting wild in undergrad, I was more cautious & shy when it came to sex - so I watched what my girlfriends did, not to emulate them so much as to see where their actions got them. After watching my girlfriends hook up w/ these guys night after night & then come crying to me the next day when they realized the guy didn't really care about them, I came to realize that sex without love gets old, fast - most of these guys they picked up at clubs & parties were pigs & they just wanted to bone my friends. It was so predictable - my girl friends felt so sad the next day when they realized they weren't satisfied with random sex w/ hot guys... well, not all the time, anyway.

I mean, all that time in high school I had this impression that parties, clubs, & hot & horny boyfriends were so cool, so sexy, but they aren't. Most of the guys I thought were so "hot" in high school & undergrad are not so "hot" or "fun" anymore. Most of them are complete loosers who hang out in bars cultivating their beer bellies, talking trash, & ogling women they can't have.

& these people you know in high school & undergrad who want you to be cool with them or who you want to be like, be part of their scene - *MOST* of them you won't keep in touch w/ when you get out of school - you'll be so busy trying to stay alive or getting involved in whatever it is you want to be in the future, you'll email & call these people less & less & make new friends you'll like more & have more in common with.

I'm not saying that all parties are equal, or bad for that matter. I'm just saying that they're usually not as much fun as everyone makes them out to be. & I've been to a lot of parties, raves, & clubs involving everything: kick ass live bands, awesome rave/trance music & DJs, alcohol, drugs, & lots of nakedness... (not that I participated in *everything* - just the alchol, dancing, occasional pot, & nakedness ). The only thing that made any of these things fun was the company of my friends - not the potential hook-ups. Hooking up w/ guys at parties is not as much fun as you think it is, unless you're really horny & you don't care who it is you sleep w/ - & that feeling lasts about 2 seconds until you realize that, yes it does matter who you sleep w/ & why.

-- Lilly
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