Pope Grants Sainthood to Fire Hydrant...

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Posted by Rolf Dusseldorf from ? ( on Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 11:59AM :

In an apparent mix up, the Supreme Head of the Catholic Church yesterday in Bogota, cannonized a fireplug along the route from the airport. Cheering crowds were driven to near hysteria as the Popsicle pulled to the curb in what must have been an unscheduled stop.

Leaning heavily on the arm of his body guard, the 104 year old Pontiff, emerged from his vehicle and stood for a moment before what appeared to be an ordinary fireplug on Avenida Simon Bolivar...across the street from the Burger King. People nearby later told this reporter that the Heavenly Father had seen a vision of the Virgin Mary above the hydarnt and had resolved to build a shrine to the "Virgin of the Plug". Vatican offcials seemed at a loss and this reporter distinctly saw one official lift the aged Pontiff bodily and place him back in his car where he was strapped in with several seat belts.

The motorcade continued with throngs along the way cheering in even greater abandon as word passed along of the miraculous event.

At a conference later that afternoon, Cardinal Ronzalli told the press that indeed the Holy Father had beheld a vision at that location and steps would soon be taken to sanctify the site of the miraculous visitation. One wag was heard to mutter that many a resident of the city had been forced to stop at that same "shrine" as there were no other conveniences handy.

R. Dusseldorf
Hambergerburg Germ.

-- Rolf Dusseldorf
-- signature .

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