Posted by panch from pool0025.cvx24-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net (188.8.131.52) on Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 10:14AM :
Narsai told me the board decided against showing my sculpture at the Ritz-Carlton. They claim it would confuse people to see one sculpture being auctioned off...while others are up for sale. Okay.
The real reason has more to do with who the sculptor is. It isn't clear to me if they still want a sculpture to auction off...I am still willing to give them one...or if they feel uncomfortable taking anything at all from me. maybe Rabi Whacky is coming...or maybe Jackie would look better there and they know she wont 'support" them if she has to pass by me...the horrible troublemaker.
It's just as well. Just as well that I leave, and better that I was shut out...that I didn't leave of my own accord. Like a fool, with only a bit of support, I would have broken my back and heart working to bring honor and recognition to this Heritage.
Never believe that our past 'enemies" keep us down. It is we ourselves...we are the enemy...the only one left, the most powerful one...the most implacable one. We recreate massacres every year...we keep stumbling along the same path...the one our leaders want us going down because it makes it possible to lead us in their spare time. Anyone who wants to do these things as a professional with an eye to actually getting things done will pay the price for it. We have enthroned mediocrity as the surest way to "survive"...but as what?
I've told Narsai that I believe his connection to the Aid Society and the perception that the AAS is an arm of ZOWAA will come back to haunt him...that he is being used...that he too is so intent on being of use to our people that it blinds him to whom he is dealing with. It isn't that they are vicious or evil people...it is just that at some point they will recoil from behaving like civilized human beans...they will take all he has to offer to get only so far...then cut him loose when he expects them to go farther, to go all the way. Sooner or later everyone who thin ks of working seriously for this Heritage will run up against the fear and screaming sense of inadequacy our very culture has made a part of itself. And when you do, the inmates will turn on you for daring to believe they could leave their disease behind...could walk out free and unfettered into the sunshine.
I hope I am wrong...
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