I Know, I Know...

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Posted by pancho from pool0563.cvx25-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net ( on Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 3:10PM :

...how can I go on about my silly law-suits and sculptures and all them minor things when we're facing war in Iraq and bloodlust among our own patrots?

I would remind us that the AANF was created at just such another dismal time in our history...the murders at Simele in 1933. I would also remind you that in the interim we have managed to put some roofs on houses that have again been blown off, necessitating even more roofs, and windows...since 1933...and not much else.

We are a famously reactive people with a short attention span...as befits growed ups still in their Diapers.

Okay, so from our recent past we can deduce that we're going to get screwed again...that we're going to produce another crop of corpses we'll elevate to martyr status...and we'll forget all about it...except for some more roofs and doors.

No one has ever said Assyrians will not get out of the way of a speeding train....but no one can acuse us of finding a better place to stroll either.

Israel wasn't created by Jews living in Palestine...it was made in London and New York and Washington...and Berlin.

We of all people should know that when all is lost...Art remains. The time span between 1933 and 2002 has seen us do exactly what in the United States? And I am NOT impressed by how many cars we've bought. What have we done as Assyrians...for ourselves here and over there? We send charity every so often...and now we're sending trees. There should be fruit available during the coming war?

I'm not knocking any of these ventures...just pointing out that they are woefully inadequate and worse...by not attacking the problem nearer to its root, we risk losing the interest of people who are asked to replace the same roof every few years.

And the killer is...we are only able to reach those Assyrians the very country that brought this misery to ALL of them, allows us to. If tomorrow they move their No-Fly zone to the southern end of Iraq...good-bye "dear" Assyrians of the north...hello "dearest" Assyrians of the south...or east, or wherever we are allowed to show our "love"...if it's okay with Bush.

This is hardly the stuff epics are made of...more like a farce. No...I am not saying we should consign them all to perdition...but neither should we blind ourselves to the fact that what we are achieving is nowhere close to the need...but more importantly...nowhere close to what we could do...if our national head wasn't up our Diapered arse.

note: I'm sure people will point out to Narsai that so soon after the tremendous success of his first dinner...his supposed pal is "criticizing" his efforts. I am not. I am proud of what he has done and hope he lives long to do more.

This note is for the rest of us...for those of us who waited till Lina was near being sent home to die before we got our act together. Those of us who will congratulate ourselves and forget about it till the next kid is at death's door.

We can be like this if we want to...it's the way we've been for lo these many years...but it doesn't have to be that way, especially not if we don't want more pain and loss to be our lot in life...much to the satisfaction of the Pain and Suffering contingent among us...the Christians...who'll get you to heaven the faster if you'll just hurt a little more.

The AANF is now taking money raised at the convention to pay lawyers to defend itself and Jackie and her club and John Nimrod and his club in a suit brought against them for what? For unfairly and illegally singling out a single artist in order to ruin his career. Somehow I don't think that was the original intention of those who founded this organization They are defending themselves from their own stupidity...nothing else. It isn't the first time either.

Our Heritage will be saved by what we do here in America...in America especially because this is the country that has the greatest potential to do good or harm in our Homeland of BetNahrain. With the help of several Assyrians, with their faith and funds and work...we were able to make a start...and we could have done much more if we hadn't been so successful.

It was only after the initial success that some of these leeders saw a potential to use these monuments to elevate themselves. The same AANF that is now using your money to defend itself...gave the same projects $20,000 of your money. How comes it now that the same organization finds so much to fear and dislike that they use their money and position like this?

Because the standard was raised...and was in danger of getting above where they could comfortably compete. had I been a miskeena...they would have liked me better...had I made pots and pans...I would be a legitimate artist for them...certainly a non-threatening one.

What was the threat? I brought honor and distinction to our name...I inspired people to step forward and put their money where their mouths used to be...and many of them never even thought of getting involved at this level before. I helped set a precedent that others would have hopefully followed...both artists and patrons. And doing all this I was also supposed to be mindful of grasping egos and hands and jealousies and ambitions?

Sorry...they don't go together. If you want to treat your surgeon or your artist as if he is your lackey...you will not get the best. And that was the whole crux of this thing...as Jackie showed by touting her three pots...and Atour and Alphonse indicated by saying they could get an Italian to do the work. They don't want us to have the best, don't waqnt us to BE the best...just what is convenient for them, non-threatening to them...the greatest bunch of chickenshits we've ever had the misfortune to be led by...and the real artist has ALWAYS been a pain in the ass...to those who would sit on people.

Don't let them do this again...be vigilant. It isn't in a village in one corner of Iraq that you'll breathe life into this Heritage...it's right here...here where we could do so much...so much more than we've done to date...but NOT with this sort of leadership.

In a way Narsai no more belongs here, as things stand, than I did. Fortunately for him, he made his reputation elsewhere...though carrying pride in his Heritage wherever he went. That saved him from becomming cynnical...because he is too demanding to put up with the witless crap these patrots indulge in. If we want to benefit from what he has to offer, we have to come up to HIS standards...he sure as shit isn't coming down to ours. And we did too...gladly, because he refused to do what was typpical, what was expected, what a Jackie or an Atour could do "just as well". They couldn't...not in a million years, Especially Jackie who would trip all over her need to be noticed and recognized by squeezing as much of herslef into the event as she does into those knit suits. Only Jackie would order up a Champagne Brunch in the middle of a Genocide commemoration...because she's too blinded by the opportunity she's creating for herself to notice any improprieties...like that jerk Alphonse ending a wonderful night of poetry with his weal immitation.

My mistake...if it was one, was starting out in the community...and fighting like hell to stay in. That made me fair game...that made it possible for the Jackie's to say, "who does he think he is"...because they need to belittle what threatens them, and they have extremely low-self esteem, hence a loathing for anything Assyrian...and they scare easily...fear losing their simple hold on us. They can't tell Narsai the same thing. he knows who he is...as I do. But he received his validation from OTHERS, so we know how to treat him..because we will never allow an Assyrian to grow up among us and within us and let him escape with pride...not the real thing, for we have no idea what it is...haven't for a long long time...and that's why we need to have it pointed out to us by other people.

If anything meaningful is going to change for us...that has to.

-- pancho
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