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=> GODDAMN IT!!!

GODDAMN IT!!!
Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, April 16 2004, 9:26:28 (EDT)
from 148.233.93.80 - customer-148-233-93-80.uninet-ide.com.mx Mexico - Windows XP - Internet Explorer
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Empress..I am as sorry as I can be that your posts were deleted...and not by me..in fact I just posted a reply and found them ALL gone.

I`m so fucking pissed I could strangle ten people and not have enough satisfaction...I can`t believe this happened!!! I am so piossed and ashamed...ONE woman dares to lay her soul open and SCARES THESE FUCKING MEN THINGS!!!

Your first post was sent to me in an emailo with the question..."should I delete these"...I didn`t even wait to read ther email but rushed to the forum where I sat entranced by raw honesty and heartrending courage...and no sooner did <I rip off an answer than I found it ALL GONE..the person who did this will pay..and pay..and pay.

I`m not a toy...I`m not someone to be trifled with..I`m not one to have things DELETED FOR!! It happened only once here and it was an error on my part..byt to delete YOUR writings...and to do it without waiting to hear from me is such a blunder..of such magnitude that I still can`t believe it happened...

I have your original post in that email..I`m putting it right back up along with my answer..and when the dipshit who did this gets back from his FUCKING CLASS at his ASSHOLE UNIVERSITY where he`s not LEARNED A GODDAMN THING more than how to wipe his ass with REAL brilliance and NOT homewprk assignm,ents...he`ll put it all back up and if he has any substance to him AT ALL he beg your forgiveness...in his defense let me say that the kind of raw emotion you expressed, dear Warrior...scares men shitless and witless too. Because they repress their emotions thy think they are "rational" and all intellect..when they`re just brain dead and feel nothing. In truth, you scared him...you scare most men..not this one baby..not this one!!!

your post...



Cuando los angeles lloran

Posted by Warrior Empress (Guest) - Friday, April 16 2004, 5:00:24 (EDT)
from 62.114.41.181 - 62.114.41.181 - Windows XP - Internet Explorer
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Hey all,

I am probably about to make a huge mistake by posting on here, and I
will be doing what most of all you men hate, but a woman is about to
express her deep inner angst and pain. And for all you Assyrian fuckers
who know me and know my parents, and who read these posts but never
reply, like the sneaks that you are, I am fucking over you. I am over
the fear you all placed in my heart. I am tired of the attacks and the
threats. You fuct me up at home by sending my parents death threats you
Christian fucking nationalist assholes.

I am posting here because honestly I have nowhere else to go, no other
cyber place, friends place, fucking anywhere, so its gotta be here. You
know, I never thought I belonged anywhere. Not in my family, not in my
fuct up catholic girls school, not even in my gender of male slave women
dishing out every fetish they could with their feminine wiles. Call this
a cathartic fucking fucking moment but I just need to scream out in
front of all you Assyrians and have you for once recognize.

My life has been a constant search and at most times it has been pretty
fuct. I guess I always had a revolutionary spirit in me somewhere, from
rejecting to "confirm" my christian non-faith at age 11, to being an
avid feminist, to a proud communist, to a whatever.

It feels like I keep fitting on new clothes for size but none of them
fucking fit. There came a time when I started hanging out with Assyrians
and even tho I was always labeled a freakin extremist, I fit. I loved
that fucking space. I felt like I finally belonged and that in the least
way possible some people understood the trappings of my mind and the
intercomplexities of my often fuct personality.

After I travelled a bit, Latin America, Middle East, roaming all around
the darkest spaces of the city, I found Islam. Then you all fucking
rejected me. Only a few of you actually bore me, and Tiglath you were
the only FUCKING one. You know what my parents did to me, and Nikko, and
all the so-called brothers. I actually thought you guys were my
protectors and friends for life. I know I wasnt the best example of a
friend, most of the time I was blazed out on drugs. It took me seven
fucking years to get off and I was only fucking 21. But still you stood
by me. And now, I am so fucking alone. I hate this fucking country, I
hate my fucking depressive, suicidal heroin addict husband, I hate my
clothes. I have no intellectual, spiritual, emotional support at all.
Not many contact me and when they do I just fucking lie and say
ALHAMDULILAH everything is GREAT!

Everything is not great. Tiglath why didnt you write back to my emails?
Don;t you care what is happening to me? I am fucking dying. You were one
of the very fucking rare who actually seemed to understand me and to
actually think what I had to say was ingenius and insightful. I miss who
I was, as fuct up as I was, and I miss you guys. Nikko just played me as
a traitor and every other motherfucking son of an assyrian bitch tried
to hit on me. You knew how it was. Then there were the yuppies, who
pretended they couldnt stand me and yet used to wine and dine me all
around town for the sake of ASSYRIA. Fuck Assyria okay, I just need to
be human.

Listen, I dont even know what I am fucking doing here. I am crying my
fucking eyes out but I just want someone to listen. My husband is in
rehab for the fourth fucking time in 8 months and I am in this house
alone smoking my cigarettes. Will one of you write to me? Will someone
just fucking tell me I am not a waste of fucking worldly space?

I used to write, I used to sing, I used to fucking be beautiful. I used
to be intelligent. I used to be fucking someone and now who am I? Fred
you seem like a very kind and wise old soul...won't you please write to me?



Un angel cayo
Un angel murio
Un angel se fue
Y no volveran...

__MANA



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