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=> Re: what a world

Re: what a world
Posted by Warrior Empress (Guest) - Thursday, March 11 2004, 10:58:38 (EST)
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You know its funny, coz when I was in Iraq three years ago now, most EVERYBODY I met was waiting for their ticket out of there. Albeit I was in downtown Baghdad most of the time, and only briefly met with those up further north in Mosul etc.

They asked me how Assyrians were doing in the west. Whether they were successful and happy. Whether they had established schools and resources etc. I said we had a few churches...but that was about it.

No one wanted to stay in Iraq, and I don't blame them. Iraq three years ago was devilishly poor, unemployment rife (something like 80%), depressed and dusty. The youth were solemn and grim. They wanted a life. They wanted freedom. Things are no doubt getting grimmer as we speak.

I told them about the sicknesses of the west. Not to be shocked when they saw young people drink, do drugs and have boyfriends/ girlfriends. I discussed religious sectarianism (something they couldn't understand) and nationalism. They laughed. They just wanted a chance to live their humanity and reach their potentials. Fuck "Assyria", most would imply, "I just want a job".

I have also spent some time with Assyrian refugees both in and out of the west (Turkey and Australia mainly). Most were disillusioned by the lack of refugee services provided for them and the social stigma they carried as "taaza tiyyeh" (newly arrived). This term, often used to call an Assyrian refugee or immigrant a "TT" is a derogatory term, and places the one born in the west of a higher moral and social standing.

Many in the West keep talking about our goddamned "Nation". Umta Umta Umta, they all cry. Many claim we should "stay" in Iraq and "build" and "fight" for our rights. Believe me, there wasn't much of that going on in Baghdad. Like I said, most people (if not all) wanted to get the hell out of there. They needed more money sent from families in the west, and their houses were bare from all the furniture they had sold to get by.

I left to Iraq all those years ago a starry-eyed and naive sociliast activist. If there wasn't a movement in Baghdad I thought, then I would help start one. But after living the reality of the day-to-day life, the military presence and the economic control by the west, I realized that my first human instinct was to "get these people out of there!". I came back a cynic and an even harsher critic. The villages in Diyyarbakir were no place for me...

Those living cushy lives in the west, who keep proclaiming "umta" should go and check out the situation themselves. If they want to fight, let them go and see what they will be up against. Most probably they will meet tens of hundreds of Iraqi's asking them what methods they can use to get out and be able to live a life.

I also never found my Assyrian-ness through the church. Albeit as a child I was forced to go to Saturday language school (crying each week mind you), and I respect that in some says today because I have some linguistic skills. I denounced Christianity at age 11, due to sexism at that time. But being raised in all-girls Catholic private school would do that to you...perhaps.

My lived experience as an Assyrian was always as somewhat of an outsider. I am still made to feel that way today. I too am attacked for being "too angry" and "too depressing" because I try and see the world as it really is and have no faith whatsoever in global capitalism. But that's just me. At least I am able to live with some choices because of my passport (sad but true).

My point, long and overbearing as it is, is that as humans, as Assyrians, as Muslims or Christians or Jews, we just need to realize our human potential. We need to have the chance to fulfill our potentials and to be given choices and freedom. Ofcourse the refugees are bound with new oppressions once they hit western shores, and I don't believe that is the golden answer to all of their prayers.

"Socialism and (wo)Man", by Che Guevara, taught me that humans are only ever free once they are released from the shackles of capitalism. Only then will we even be able to try to achieve a long and lasting feminism, true human indentity, and cultural freedom.

Only then.

SO I'm sorry if I am too angry, or too depressing. And I am sorry if the solutions seem to difficult to work towards. The present is bleak, and the future even bleaker.

I am an Assyrian because its where I come from. It's my history and my geography and my language. I am no different to any other human struggling in this torturous life. I am an Assyrian because my lived experience tells me I am.

Anyways, I'm rambling now....

Peace!
The Warrior Empress xoxoxoxox



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