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assyrian meatball
Posted by parhad (Guest) - Tuesday, December 9 2003, 17:25:07 (EST)
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In reference to Warrior Empress' question about what an Assyrian is...or for that matter what a French person is or a Texan or anyone, even a man or a woman...depends on who does the defining and how it's defined and why. There could be 143 different ways to be an Australian and every kid born down under would be wandering the outback mumbling..."who am I"? There'd be confused Aussies...neurotic Aussies and there'd be an Aprim Aussie gathering facts on some anthill somewhere for a definitive book that would answer all questions for REAL Aussies.

As has been pointed out time and again our task is made that much more difficult because we have a religious identity that's supposed to take the place of everything else...and even there it isn't an Assyrian religion at all...never was, never can be. And the damage this religious identity can do to a People who've abandoned their own for that of one of their minor and rather silly enemies who, to this day, hate and fear all that Assyria stood for, even while they envied and stole from it...is beyond measure. But that doesn't mean it isn't there and can't be felt or hasn't had severe consequences.

If we had an ethnic identity or even just a plot of ground to call our own, it wouldn't matter much what religions we wanted to be. But not having that and on top of it being divided among Judo-Christo sects, themselves in competition with one another...and further to be influenced by people who HAVE a plot of ground we're allowed to share and an identity separate from a purely religious one who might also go to war against each other dragging us along...well...what do you expect?

When you're raised by parents anywhere on this plant it's a crapshoot from the moment you're born. If they wanted to parents could tell you an apple is an orange...that five plus one is ten thousand...that you're straight when you're not...or Gay when you're not...could tell you that you have to expect to be hated for your dark skin color or deserve to be loved for your white skin color...in other words they can fill your head with as much stuffing as they want to and call that "YOU"...their darling...or hated, child. And what could you possibly do about it...how could you defend yourself even assuming you sensed there was something attacking your very essential and defenseless self? The answer is, You Couldn't.

You couldn't even do much of a job of defining yourself outside of the box you're being stuffed into...wouldn't even know or dare to say this "box" was as far from whom you felt yourself to be...even though you couldn't quite put your finger on exactly what was wrong with it. So you'd grow up either never knowing or caring that you were living an inauthentic life...or vaguely bothered even to the point of attempting to destroy the box and yourself too if that had to be a consequence. It's like having to wear someone else's clothes...clothes that don't fit...that don't allow you to run and dance but trip you up and make you freeze in the cold and then stifle you when it's hot. Most of us are content to wear whatever we're stuffed into and call it a "self"...especially as we're introduced early on to what the consequences can be if we resist. Most children want to get along...they don't want to fight every adult they come into contact with even if and maybe especiallly if, every adult they ever see insists they live in those borrowed clothes and threatens them with dire consequences if they dare go find a better fit.

We were all children once and all children are at the mercy of the Universe. But some fight back. We know that because societies change, definitions change and behind each change there's a man or woman who said, "Fuck You...I'm going to find a better fit and not only for me but for the rest of you people...kill me for it if you want...but better know a little of who "I" am than accept what you tell me I am any longer".

People for the most part are not living authentic lives as authentic individuals. They have instead a manufactured self that's supposed to fit all or most sizes and most people feel something is wrong somewhere but either don't care to look further into it or are afraid to. There's a hollowness behind most sets of eyeballs...the "self" in these people being barely skin-deep having never once being examined or authenticated. That could be why increasingly we have to drug ourselves and now our children. The "self" we allow to exist and force each generation into may be increasingly so hostile and constricting for the basic Human Psyche that it just can't be done without drugging children any longer. Socialization has become a factory process...a conveyor belt that carries each infant through a set of "procedures" at the end of which is some designated function to be served...but none of it has been constructed with the welfare of the individual in mind and increasingly not even with the welfare of the group in mind...just of those who own and operate the machinery. The rejects, the ones that fall off onto the factory floor and get swept away, if they can't be recycled...are the deviants, the criminals, the delinquents, the neurotics, the geniuses and the rest of it...but most of them...the overwhelming majority, simply couldn't be "processed"...that's their only crime and for that they are made to pay additionally...and NO ONE...NO ONE wants to examine the machinery and the process instead.

Every kid who can't sit still in class is doing the right thing. The ones who sail through without a qualm are the sick ones. Our culture has made an alphabet soup of syndromes to pin the blame on the individual and get it away from the process. We are tying our babies in knots and calling it an "upbringing"...we're boring the shit out of them and herding them like cattle into a chute leading to about as meaningless a life or "choices" for life as one could dream up in a nightmare and they're very wisely but hopelessly struggling against the inevitible like mad...for which we've finally given up all pretense at "healing" or "analysis"...or even understanding but just drug the little bastards into aquiessence until they're old enough to drug themselves.

The only way to gain some sanity and an even slight awareness of where the "you" might be lurking...hiding because there's nothing to be done...is by questioning everything...and I mean EVERYTHING of what you were told "had to be". You may come up with the same answers you were led to and that would at least validate them and you as well...but you might not...you might find out that "you" are an entirely different person and the real journey of your own life could finally begin.

It's the same with being Assyrian. Accepting any of the definitions we were born into or raised up with is the first mistake...even if the definition may turn out to have been totally correct...or partly so...it still isn't authentic for the individual...and in our case it's hardly likely we even have a healthy definition of it considering where we are from where we started and what we do to each other. Being Assyrian...like being a daughter or a son...has to be consciously defined and sought after. Every revolution means some sort of violent change in the status-quo. We desperately need an inner revolution because the definitions we've lived under have all become tyrannical, not tending to our individual or collective welfare and therefore deserving to be overthrown. The only ones benefitting are those running the Assyrian Machinery...and that would be those same fucking priests who got us here in the first place and their secular arm...the just-as-fucking political and social gangs of Three and Four lurking in garages, basements and alleyways. And they have fought and will fight like hell to discourage...attack...remove the paintings of, anyone who threatens their status...to them, anyone seeking a better or just different way is the "enemy-traitor"...They don't mind at all those who are actually killing our people off and destroying the Homeland...hell they'll join in if it means they get to keep running the show.

There IS no definition of what it is to be Assyrian. That's the problem...the challenge...the fun and the danger of it all rolled up into one big delicious meatball.



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