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=> Re: Dinner at the Parhad's

Re: Dinner at the Parhad's
Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, August 6 2004, 12:55:03 (CEST)
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Paul Younan wrote:
>FARID: "Goddamit Fredericka, is that roast done yet?"

...I just wrote to you saying that it would be a good idea to stop using "your" daughters and talk in the abstract. That must have meant to you that it was time to bring my wife`s name into this. You chose to mention your daughter`s names...at that point I began to be uncomdortable refering to "your daughters" and said I thought that we should keep children and famiily out of this...that this was our ony real rule over here and we would not have allowed such an attack on your relative to stand. Naturally you thought you saw your chance and like Aprim before you, raised the stakes by introducing my wife`s name. You are indeed a Christian.
>
>FREDERICKA: "Almost, sweetie."
>
>FARID: "Just checking, munchkin. Love you."
>
>TIGLATH: "Khizmie, you know that Assyrians invented the pot roast, don't you? The Jews lifted the idea from US."
>
>FARID: "Of course they did. How could sheep-shit herders like them even understand the concept until we educated them?"
>
>JEFF: "That's too controversial Farid, almost sounds like "Death to Iraq, Qurdistan and any other bastards."
>
>FARID: "Oh shut up Jeff. You still have some Christian sheepshit in you, we'll take care of that. Fredericka, GODDAMMIT, where is that fuckin' roast?"
>
>FREDERICKA: "Fred, you can cook it yourself if you'd like, how about that?"
>
>FARID: "Just kidding honey-poo. Go about your business, us REAL Assyrians have some talking to do here anyway. Take your time, pooky. Kiss, kiss."
>
>TIGLATH: "The Akkadians invented talking, by the way."
>
>JEFF: "No way!"
>
>TONY: "They did too! I read it in Nakosha."
>
>HABIBI: "This reminds me of a beautiful movie I saw last night with Georgia O'Keeffe. My friends from undergrad, who I miss like in the worst way, we used to recite poetry while being naked...and, um,....."
>
>FARID: "Zzzzzz. Georgia O'Keeffe! Georgia O'Fucking Keeffe? You watch any movie with THAT Jew in there? What kind of Assyrian are you?"
>
>JEFF: "Farid, actually I think O'Keeffe is Irish name."
>
>FARID: "Same difference. She's just a re-packaged Jew, that's all. Those bastard Irish, fags I tell ya. They wear kilts, those fucking queers."
>
>TONY: "I thought the Scotts wore kilts?"
>
>FARID: "Same difference, all fucking Christian bastards anyway....repackaged Jews."
>
>TIGLATH: "Assyrians invented kilts."
>
>FARID: "Goddamit Fredericka, you'd think you were Christian how long you take cooking. Am I going to have to turn Christian cannibal and eat flesh and blood to survive?"
>
>TONY: "Farid, how do you suppose that will help us today?"
>
>FARID: "Tony, don't try to look intelligent in front of me, ok? I can see right past you and an Assyrian like me, a real Assyrian, is apt to roast your innards over an open fire right now I'm so hungry."
>
>TIGLATH: "The Amorites invented fire."
>
>FARID: "Those fucking Amorites were Christians then. Only a Christian would invent fire so that they could burn the heretics at the stakes. You know they did that back in 1588 AD in Salem, right? Fucking Amorites....reborn Jews is all they were."
>
>TIGLATH: "Yeah, I agree. They were not fit to polish the shoes on one Assyrian King."
>
>JEFF: "Technically, I don't think shoes were invented yet during the Assyrian empire. I think they wore sandals."
>
>FARID: "Jeff Atto, fucking Jeff fucking Atto. Let me tell you something, ok? Jews wore sandals while they were tending to their sheep in those fucking hills, ok? Our kings wore shoes.....and I'm about to THROW MINE IN THE KITCHEN UNLESS THAT FUCKING ROAST GETS DONE, FREDERICKA!"
>
>HABIBI: "You know, I wish I could write a skit for TV based on you guys, I swear! It would, like, have the "eye of the tiger" song, and....."
>
>FARID: "Zzzzz."
>
>TIGLATH: "Our ancestors invented music."
>
>FARID: "I swear to Ashur, I've built statues quicker than this woman can cook."
>
><DING-DONG>
>
>FARID (opening door): "I deny Ashur with all my soul! La ilaha illah'Llah wa'Muhammadun rasulu'Llah."
>
>GIRL SCOUT: "Excuse me, Sir, I am selling cookies for our summer camp. Would you like to help out our troop?"
>
>FARID: "Heheh. I was just kidding, guys - you know that, right? Heheheh. Ahem. Sure, I'll but some cookies little girl. Is that a yamaka you got on?"
>
>GIRL SCOUT: "No sir, that's part of my troop's uniform."
>
>FARID: "Alright then, as long your not a Jew I'll buy some cookies."
>
>TIGLATH: "Subartians invented cookies, little girl! And don't you forget it!"
>
>NINOS: "Man these cookies remind me of Mosul."
>
>FARID: "Is it just me, or are these cookies shaped like Crosses?"
>
>JEFF: "It's just you, Farid."
>
>FARID: "Fucking crusaders, I'm suspicious of them all. They're all cut from the same cloth, those bloodthirsty Christians. I have no doubt whatsoever that Haliburton made those uniforms."
>
>JEFF: "No, Fred, impossible."
>
>TONY: "They did too! Michael Moore said it himself! How much you wanna bet?"
>
>TIGLATH: "I agree with Jeff, no way Haliburton made those uniforms. Besides, I'm pretty sure the Sumerians invented the girl scout uniforms."
>
>HABIBI: "I used to be a girl-scout and then, like, one day...."
>
>FARID "Zzzzz."
>
>And so went the work for "Assyria" by the "New Assyrians" that night.....

...Like I said...your flaps are coming apart. This is not satire. Inserting what you think we say into our mouths in order to make us look foolish...isn`t satire...as you can see in this case where it isn`t even funny. You`re merely making fun of us by creating foolish dialogue you WIS we`d use, this is wish fulfillment it is not satire....which is certainly legitimate.

...What it shows me, along with your dwindling reason is that you can`t think of direct answers to the questions that keep multiplying. I know you know this jokey thing won`t stop any of them...I know you know you haven`t answered any of them and I know you know this wasn`t funny...and I know you know there isn`y much else you can do to keep up appearances...and you being an Assyrian is ALL about appearances. A Chinaman would indeed "do" about as much that is Assyrian as you have.

..I poked holes in your morals and principles by SHOWING the contradictions and where that kind of thinking LEADS...I did indeed create a scenario that had you being robbed and losing your job because of the very principles you thought were impressive on the one special case where you got a hard on describing your suicide which results in you being exalted into Heaven while your daughters catch hell for it on earth. I took my cue from UNDERSTANDING what you were saying...you are "mocking" what we say which, as I said is legitimate, but it is not funny OR satirical.

A side note...at this point I could create a vived...believe me..scenario in which I describe what your daughters might face with you dead and five hairy thugs who have little to do with Islam, but have cocks very like scimitars, confronting them...I could describe what the men do...I could give details..I could invent dialogue to put in their mouths in which they describe their fantasies..and dialogue in your daughters mouth`s, if there is room , decribing their fear, pain, humiliation and the curses they hurl at your god for giving YOU the easy way out...I might also choose to have your wife stumble onto the scene...witness the painful end to your daughter`s life...or offer herself if the men would stop doing it to her dear girls..whom she foolishly entrusted to your care...

I could then describe how the brutes..their appetitites merely whetted by use of your daughters now dead bodies... begin all over again in earnest on your wife and the kinds of curses she sends up to heaven after you...I could use her name...and I could force you therefore to continue that thread in which we discuss...or I do, as a joke, in hopes of forcing you to...just what things she found out that day those five men men sent her and her daughters up to heaven to tell you off for eternity...you could then reply that your daughters wouldn`t be mad at daddy and your wife too would fall at your feet in heaven and thank you and your principles...I could keep creating scenarios involving your wife..and then you could start on mine and my children and when we tire of that we could drag our dead relatives from their graves and go to creating funny scenarios involving them, corpses and sodomy...we COULD do all that...but I won`t...for I have no principles and am an animal and a fake Assyrian coward.



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