- Saturday, August 6 2005, 16:32:48 (CEST)|
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..it isn't their fault...they are what they are...I'm the idiot for submitting to their pre-approval. Had they any honor they would have allowed me to post as always...I agreed not to call them names and ATTACK them...they should have let it go at that and banned me outright if I failed to live up to it...this way they've gotten me to agree to admit that I can't be trusted...it was a dumb thing for me to agree to.
I was asked if I didn't think I could lead by a "positive" example etc etc. I said I never had a desire to lead anybody anywhere...I don't like followers...I like independent people...my role is to destroy...it's that simple. I'm not SO simple as to think you can lead these "Assyrians" anywhere. There has to be a reason we attract the WORST example of "Assyrianism"...why it is that the stupider a person is the MORE he's sure he MUST be Assyrian...and why those who are brightest of all run the farthest from this sort of "Assyria".
There is no place to lead these people TO. Every demand...every theory, every protest, every wish is as screwy as it can be...their very core and foundation as "Assyrians" is shot through with rot...they haven't the ability to articulate what they are to any but the same terminally foolish people as they are. That's also why they stay inside so much..they know damn well what these claims of their's sound like to people who are NOT illiterate peasants...that's why Aprim is sweating bullets right now and the reason emergency meetings have been called to prep him and warn him and admonish him..it's also the reason no one wants to be in the audience who knows him...there is no way Aprim is NOT going to make a fool of himself...if not, he'll have to tone down the "core" of his Assyrian crap...he'll have to care for once which words he uses and how he comes across...there is no one to protect him out there...if he steps in it most of the audience will know...you tell me who among us would PAY to hear Aprim? Yet these people will and they're going to go to his talk expecting some VALUE...and he has none...only to US is he a "writer" and a "thinker". To the world he'll be the clown he knows he is...
The foundatons of "Assyria" are rotten through and through...the timbers are filled with dry-rot...the upstairs is leaning way out of kilter...anyone thinking to solve things by building another floor on this stinking hulk will only bring about its collapse that musch faster...there's no point in adding a new roof or a penthouse to a building whose girders and footing are rotten...it's a fool's errand.
My job isn't to build to anything..it isn't to have "hope" and "faith"...let Firas have those. My job...my self-appointed task, is to make sure not a stone or pillar is left upright in "Assyria". There comes a time when you have to destroy before you can build...this rot has to be cleared away..the ground raked clean before we can start again...there is no way to shift direction so long as the old foundation is crumbling in place.
Aina sought to use me to prop up their rotting self. I'm not "joining" anybody...I'm swinging my stell balls through the air and knocking over any Assrian who gets in the way...it's the ONLY "right" thing to do.
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