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=> Criminal Christians...

Posted by beezelbub (Guest) - Sunday, September 25 2005, 19:40:02 (CEST)
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...my thesis is that Christianity prepares children for a life of crime...more specifically for learning to accept the benefits that come to them through the suffering of even the most innocent...as Jesus was. If you can stand to benefit at HIS expense, of all people...what do Iraqi children matter to you, if they stand between you and your car?

If a crowd grabs some unoffending guy here in town and rushes him to me telling me that I can have his watch if I`ll agree that he should be put to death...and I agree because it`s a really neat watch, will tick for Eternity...and they kill him...even though I didn`t swing the rope and they were gonna kill him ANYWAY, the Law would consider me an accessory AFTER the fact, the "fact" of the crime of murder...because you can NOT benefit from a crime...to do so makes you part of the reason the crime was committed...even if you knew nothing about it...but when you agree to receive the man`s watch you become an accessory...a part of the gang that killed him.

Jesus HAD to be murdered (sacrificed if you prefer or want to be nice about it)or else Christians could NOT get into Heaven. They have to accept that he was killed "for you". And, to top it off...they must agree to taste his flesh and drink his blood. Just to seal their iniquity.

Say I hop in a Time Machine with the Pope, Pope Ratz, and we zoom back to Golgotha the day of Christ`s execution and due to magical powers and what not it lies within our capacity to rescue Christ...the dialogue between the Pope and I would go something like this.

Beezelbub: Let`s save Christ and get out of here.

Pope: Yes, maybe we should...after all he IS innocent of any crimes and believes pretty much as I do.

Beezelbub: Well, let`s get going...why are you wringing your hands so?

Pope: We must not be hasty, my son.

Beezelbub: Since when are we related?

Pope: It`s a figure of speech...maybe we shouldn`t interfere.

Beezelbub: What do you mean? They`re getting ready to drive nails into his flesh..you know, like Mel Gibson...wasn`t that horrible enough you want to watch the REAL thing.

Pope: But...but...bbbbut...if Jesus ISN`T crucified..what happens then? What of all those who would be saved into eternal life by his death? What of eternity and our rewards for being good? What of me? What of YOU?

Beezelbub: Leave me out of it. I don`t know how to break this to you but there is no Heaven. Besides which I`d rather do the right thing now and save this innocent man than worry about what happens after I die.

Pope: Well yes but you`re obviously an Evil man.

Beezelbub: And you`re a good one because you can`t bear the idea of rotting in your grave so, on some wild chance that this fairy tale is true you`re going to do nothing to save this most innocent man..one you say you LOVE?

The Pope and I, being from a democracy, we took a vote...I was for saving Jesus and taking our chances together..like good fellows. The Pope was for weeping and wailing...I think he was gonna gnash his teeth as well...but voted to leave Jesus where he was...about to have the first spike driven through his tender hand. Only trouble was at that moment there was rebellion in our democracy and I rose up and smashed the pope with his crucifix...then I substituted him for Jesus and we got away...at least they nailed the right bastard.

Christian children are encouraged to think in terms of benefits to themselves outweighing any crimes that may be committed, by them or condoned by them, as a means of getting those goods which could ONLY come to them if a crime was committed. A kid can grow up mighty strange that way.

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