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=> Lenny Bruce and my mistake as a fan

Lenny Bruce and my mistake as a fan
Posted by Ado (Guest) - Tuesday, February 28 2006, 1:39:52 (CET)
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How can I ever have mistaken him for you:

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish."
"If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off'. You've got to quit, cold jerky!"

" A Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descendant from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary, but you and I know what a Jew is: One Who Killed Our Lord... there should be a statute of limitations for that crime."

"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno... it was one of those parties that got out of hand, you know?"

"...since they condone capital punishment, I want them to stop bitching about Jesus getting nailed up."

"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."

"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."

"I didn't do it, man, I only said it."
To police on the occasion of his arrest for saying "cocksucker" at San Francisco's Jazz Workshop, 1961

"A knowledge of syphilis is not an instruction to get it."

"'Sex' and 'obscenity' are not synonymous."

"If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with [God] the manufacturer."

" It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness."

"Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it."

"Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government."

"The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them."

"The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is."

"I'm sorry if I wasn't very funny tonight. I am not a comedian. I am Lenny Bruce."

"Communism is like one big phone company. If you get too rank with them you'll wind up with a dixie cup and a thread."

"There are never enough 'I love you's."

"I want the Supreme Court to stand up and tell me that fucking is dirty and no good."

"I want to help you if you have a dirty word problem. There are none."

"I don't want every break in the world. I just want justice."

"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."



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