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=> Maggie...I accept your invitation...

Maggie...I accept your invitation...
Posted by beezelbub (Guest) - Thursday, October 20 2005, 0:49:42 (CEST)
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...there's nothing else I can do but go to Narasi's shindig. He kind of forced my hand today. Called to ask where I could buy a ticket and if there would be any problem...he said I could do as I pleased, the dinner is open to the public and all one has to do is show up with a ticket. That would have been fine if he'd stopped there...but the poor fellow is unravelling right before my amazed eyeballs.

He said he can't imagine why I would want to come except to cause trouble...that spending money for a ticket did not seem to him to be the kind of thing I would do (?)...therefore, why would I come?

I replied that I had never started any trouble anywhere...that every time there had been trouble, other's had started it and then been startled to find themselves opposed...as in..."officer officer HE is making trouble for ME"! I said I would never stoop so low as to play into the AIDS people's hands...that my point is achieved when THEY stoop low...and they do that all by themselves.

I'm going to see what it's like and to see old pals who are pals no more...especially Aprim. But I assured him I have no interest in disrupting anything.

I said I was surprised to hear him such say things...he said all the people across the country who hate my guts can't be wrong...I said the people who dislike him and his AIDS must be right then. I understand he has to back his Bored but then he shouldn't have gone so far himself as to call my artwork "shit". It happened when I said I couldn't believe his Bored was willingly turning down thousands of dollars in donations while at the same time PLEADING for thousands of dollars in donations...he said they get LOTS of donated items they decide not to use...come to my office, he said and SEE all the shit there. I asked if he was calling my sculptures shit...he dodged by replying that I should know what he thinks of my artwork...as it's all over his house and stands in the city not far from the hotel where the party will be...I didn't press the point because I could see he was up against a wall.

I never would have believed it. My GOD these people are destructive! I'm standing by, helpless, while one of the few bright lights we had in this community is deconstructing himself before my eyes. He knows he can't tell me what he REALLY thinks because I might write it here...but he doesn't have to make himself STOOPID in a futile attempt to salvage some self-respect.

He knows damn well, and so do the Bored, that my sculpture is hardly "shit". they know it because it fetched them $10,000 the first year they tried it. As much as Narsai tried to justify their actions by saying I was, after all, not "popular" and how could so many people be wrong and only me right...I said the people wrong in this scenario were the members of his Bored...not me. THEY were fucking up...not me. And he, poor bastard, was stuck having to defend their actions...

Dear Ashur...give me strength...surrounded as I am by Christians under every rock and a church at every wide spot in the road it's difficult not be tainted by their rot...I found myself getting pissed all over again...had Narsai said, "look Farid, you know how I feel but this isn't Ceres...I can't simply order them to do as I wish"...I would have had no problem...but to say my sculpture is like the shit in his office they also voted not to use is going a little far in the direction of mind-fucked. Fancy chopped liver is nice spread on a cracker but you shouldn't use it for brains.

So I heard myself think..."fuck you..."and then caught myself...this is for the people of Iraq...so I'll still make the donation for Narsai to sell privately...and the money can go into the AIDS bank because it's intended for Iraq....whew!

I never thought I would see the day my respect for Narsai would be this damaged. I hold out the hope that he knows better but feels constrained to go along with them...and that's JUST where they do their damage...they bring you down to THEIR level...a constant level through the decades of mediocrity and mendacity (great word)...that's the reason I KNEW that, far more important than working with 'them"...even more important than getting the Shumirum installed, was the need to break with this pattern of mediocrity ruling the day. I paid the price but I would far rather have done that then be where Narsai is now.

If there is to be any real hope for this Heritage it will NOT come from the direction of these people and their self-serving attempts...if Narsai wants to join them...let him. Not me.

But...I will go to their party.

The AIDS society is not set up to help the Christian of Iraq..it is set up to KEEP them there. If you are a dear and needy Christian and you run to Jordan for your safety and for the sake of your children...do NOT expect any help from Narsai. They'll say it's because they have limited resources..but I don't buy that...I mean they do, but they STILL wouldn't help Christians who wish to leave or need their help to stay away..or go start new lives.

The Jews were hounded and persecuted everywhere in the world so that they HAD to focus on a homeland, no matter the dangers and hostile surroundings...but for Christians it's exactly the reverse..they are welcome and can find safe haven only in OTHER countries...Christian ones...and in fact, their "homeland" is now, more than ever, the MOST dangerous place on earth for them.

So here comes the AIDS people...a sort of Fire Department with a peculiar mission where people caught in burning buildings are concerned..or in burning countries...they force you back INTO the flames! If they catch you trying to escape through a window, they slam it shut...they are there to help you...but only if you stay in the flames with your family..then they feel "sorry" for your plight and toss you marshmallows and hot dogs so you can "survive". That's my main objection to them..they are USING those people to maintain this daffy idea of a "presence" in their ancestral homeland bullshit...and all the while all it means is that they help people survive to die another day.

Not a one of them...not a ONE would allow a son or daughter or loved one to go BACK there now and live...not a one of them, if they had a parent or loved one or dear friend would NOT want to help them escape...and not ONE of them is sorry their ass isn't in Iraq now to make a "presence" in the "homeland". They are oportunists, themselves serving some goofy notion of a "nation"...and all of their 'aid" has this in mind. They want those Christians THERE! They don't necessarily want them dead...yet! But if they have to die..let them at least have a presence in the graveyard in Nineveh!!!

So, Margaret...you really have tickets? I have a Tux I've been dying to wear...



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