The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> On Narsai...correction:

On Narsai...correction:
Posted by beezelbub (Guest) - Tuesday, November 1 2005, 5:39:29 (CET)
from 71.116.90.200 - pool-71-116-90-200.snfcca.dsl-w.verizon.net Network - Mac OS - Internet Explorer
Website:
Website title:

...I had said in a previous post that Narsai was not the man to sabotage his own efforts...that he would not turn away a donation just because he was pissed at the donor...or for any other reason...except a damn compelling one..but certaily never one brought about by the "feelings" of his idiot committee...or even his own.

Then he went and made a liar of me...he fairly flew through the mouthpiece to offer me my money back...$300 that he at OTHER times is pleading for because it will supply a roof in garbia for a dear old Christian woman who MUST be kept there...or medicine for a child in need.

I never thought to see the day he would do such a thing...and for what? He's known me longer than he's known any of the people in his committee...we've travelled together...eaten together...created a foundation together...stood together in conventions across the nation drumming up support and donations for the Ashurbanipal Monument...I even gave him a sculpture with which he raised $10,000 for AIDS...his house is leaning to one side filled with my sculptures..which he only now compared to "other shit" in his office given by other people for his auction. He has a storage room filled with sculpture he can't even display...his desk has four sculptures on mine on it..his walls have my bas-reliefs on them and he's donated two of my sculptures to the college in Turlock...and after all of this...he goes and turns on me because of the AIDS committee?

I still can't believe that he offered to return $300 today rather than have me come to the dinner...I expect such behavior from the rest of them...but Narsai?

Wullah it is true...you must be careful whom you associate with. No WONDER he called me a whore, in his rage and exasperation...he was identifying himself with me...getting the two of us confused...I recall now all his dire warnings that I was asking for trouble..that Jackie would bury me in court...that people would sue me...that I would wind up in jail in Mexico for my "arrogance". Those were all his WISHES...because to him, as apparently to the rest of them...a person such as I MUST be punished..and if Life won't do it and circumstances won't and if people respond favorably to me then HE will do the punishing.

It isn't me who is acting the part of the whore. When Narsai told me to give in to Nimrod's demands...when he cautioned that I shouldn't "upset" Jackie because, after all, she bought a lot of sculpture...when he admonished me to be "responsible"..meaning meek and cowardly and double-dealing..like they all are in order to "succeed"...I laughed at him...I said there was more at stake here than a simple monument...monuments are just metal...it is the spirit BEHIND them...the spirit that fills them and out of which they are born..it isn't how much MONEY I get to pocket from their "successful" completion...had I wanted to succeed along his lines and those of the merchants on his committee I NEVER would have been a sculptor and I sure as shit would NEVER have worked for this Heritage.

Narsai was yelling "WHORE" at the top of his lungs...his face contorted, hair slicked back with sweat, at HIMSELF...because he KNEW he was being weak...that for the sake of a "successful" dinner, he'd pawned his integrity to such people as would betray the very core of what they claim to be serving...people who will use their OWN selfish reasons to "benefit" others...and pass it off as "humanity". And now he was shocked..or maybe just dismayed to be OUTED, as one of them.

I refused to be a "whore"...even when it cost me so much...cost me in real terms and cost me completely, not just a corner of my portfolio but the sum total of my earning capacity..and he KNOWS that...yet for a dinner...for the chance to stand before people and shine for an evening...he went and did this to me.

It is the unkindest cut of all. But not unexpected. if you would work for this Heritage you must do it CLEAN...like the Knights of Mallory you must sit up till many a dawn or walk out in the wilderness and wash your soul clean from all the accumulated filth heaped on it by too close commerce with the WHORE they have made of "Assyria".

I'm not the whore...and you KNOW it and knew it when you shouted it....YOU are!



---------------------


The full topic:



Content-length: 4656
Content-type: application/x-www-form-urlencoded
Accept: */*
Accept-language: en
Connection: Keep-Alive
Cookie: *hidded*
Extension: Security/Remote-Passphrase
Host: www.insideassyria.com
Pragma: no-cache
Referer: http://www.insideassyria.com/rkvsf4/rkvsf_core.php?.KPUY.
Ua-cpu: PPC
Ua-os: MacOS
User-agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.17; Mac_PowerPC)



Powered by RedKernel V.S. Forum 1.2.b9