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=> The Mother Bears The Brunt/Altamont Pass/Forgiveness?

The Mother Bears The Brunt/Altamont Pass/Forgiveness?
Posted by Emil (Guest) squaremoon@emilsdiary.com - Wednesday, November 9 2005, 3:49:50 (CET)
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Website: http://www.emilsdiary.com/
Website title: Square Moon Diary of Emil Keliane

From "Square Moon: Diary of Emil Keliane"

November 1997

In the morning mother and I drive out of the Bay Area, out of the rain, across the bridge, through the oscillating wind turbines of Altamont Pass, and arrive at the magnificent open skies of Central Valley. Throughout the drive, reading, looking intermittently out the passenger side window, I become distressingly conscious of the surreptitious manner in which my resentment toward mother manifests itself, making itself known through certain words, tones, subtleties. And for that instant, while the scene changes beyond the windshield, and as mother drives, I am able to exit the dramas of Emil, stand before him, and say to him with the frankness of a true friend, 'You are so busy punishing her for being who she is that you cannot be pleasant to her for five minutes without erupting. You reject her constantly as she rejected you when you were fourteen and moved to Chicago with your father instead of remaining with her. You reject her as she did you when you were eighteen and confided in her that you are gay.' I stand apart from my disgruntled counterpart and gasp at having just viewed my shortness of temper, my volatility, and the raging immaturity that undulates beneath the very surface of me!
I have begun my most profound transmutation: forgiving my mother…



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