The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> at my other forum...

at my other forum...
Posted by pancho (Guest) - Sunday, January 29 2006, 17:43:52 (CET)
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think what you want

...always have....

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Beth Suryoyo Assyrian (Othuroyo) Forum


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Written by Jo on 28 Jan 2006 21:34:11:

This is a response to someone who thinks that I hate him for no reason.

...I never thought about it one way or the other...do you think I think you hate me? Why?


I've been very, INCREDIBLY reluctant to say anything about this because this concerns the details of someone ELSE's life, not mine.

...another one with multiple people inside...screaming to get out.

There was a time that I used to post on that other forum. Occassionally, I was made fun of, but I didn't mind, mostly because I enjoyed talking about politics.

...we all get made fun of all the time...why are you so special?

Then, one day, a non-Assyrian boy started to post there, mostly about political things. He seemed really nice, and since I agreed with him about many issues, I grew to respect him a lot.

...you respect people a lot whom you AGREE WITH? Isn`t agreeing with them enough...do you then find yourself RESPECTING them a lot....why, because they reflect a flattering portriat of yourself?

There was an Assyrian convention coming up, and I wanted to go to meet as many people from the forum that I could at it. I have Assyrian friends who identify themselves in other ways in real life, but I don't have Assyrian friends who identify themselves as Assyrian, in real life. I was curious about this latter group of people, and I genuinely wanted to go to the convention to meet these people.

and so you found yourself attracted to the NON-Assyrian boy...huh?

Well, the non-Assyrian boy wanted to go, and I wanted to meet him, too, because I enjoy meeting people, in general, and there was something very special about his interest in politics. He showed me where I could find information on the web about some things related to the war (he showed everyone on the forum). However, it turned out that I was unable to afford going to the convention, so I didn't.

..you wanted to meet a NON-Assyrian at the convention...was he going?

When everyone came back from the convention, I noticed that there was a strange response to the non-Assyrian boy and that he didn't want his picture taken by anyone there. I started to wonder why. So, I called a few people I knew who attended that convention. No one told me why they reacted to him like that. So, then I called the boy. I realized, just from the sound of his voice, that there was something different about this boy. I asked him about it. He was born with a condition that was surgically corrected when he was very young, but which left him with a noticeable speech impediment. And I wondered if this was really why people had treated him so strangely at the convention?

...we`re used to sloppy speakers...Assria is filled with people who can barely be understood...I doubt that was the reason.

This boy was much younger than me, and I was definitely attached to my then fiance.

...one is afraid to ask at which joint.

He knew that, too. But, we would talk on the phone occassionally because I thought he was a brilliant kid and had so much potential... and I felt so awful about how he had been treated. Then, people started to make fun of him on the forum, and it made me incredibly angry...

...I remember the dweeb! We never "heard" him speak on the forum...but he was trying manfully to defend you...no doubt because you told him how crool I`d been in mistaking your "real" intentions...his defense of you and his posts, if I remember correctly, consisted of posting the names of countries...over and over. We stood it for as long as we could and then we asked him to say something of his own..not just write down the Almanac...I guess he was trying to drown us out...silly boy. Then he started using my pseudo.."Farid"...he still had nothing to say...not a single thing about politics or Assyria...nothing but meaningless posts listing the names of countries and facts about them he`d gotten from an almanac...all we did was block his usage of "Farid"...he was till free to write...we removed none of his posts...I guess he got tired and blew away.


I had become very protective of him (and still am). I thought of him as an older sister would think of her brother. I started to hate the people who were making fun of him.

...you should never hate..it unhinges you....ahem.

People had asked him why he was at the convention because he wasn't Assyrian. He had felt excluded when he was there, he confided in me. And I wondered how people who were "normal" could be so insensitive to him? Obviously, he spoke strange and probably still had some scars on his face from his condition at birth... and he was probably treated like an outsider all his life because of his differences.

...ah. Projecting, are we?

So, I made fun of the people who hurt him on-line, right back at them. You know, if I was younger and not attached, I probably would have fallen in love with him. He's very independent, incredibly smart, can see through people, and actually, quite handsome.

...you have threatend so MANY people with "falling in love" with them that I can see now why he left.

I know that someday he will meet an incredible girl who will love him for everything that he is. In fact, I feel just a bit jealous of her, whoever she will be, because he's such an amazing person.

...no "amazing" person would have been sconed at an Assyrian convention...no "amazing" peerson, who was SO bright politically, would have resorted to meaningless posts...ten and twenty in a row, with nothing more than statistics from an almanac...this fellow is as shallow and feeble as YOu are...that`s why you find yourself "attracted" to him...give it a rest.

I do have a husband who is also an amazing person. I feel incredibly lucky, every day of my life, to have met him.

...no you DON`T...will you NEVER stop lying?

He completely understands me and is my best friend. He knows everything there is to know about me, past and present. I keep no secrets from him. Things were a bit different and difficult when we were dating, but that was mostly because I was a HUGE commitment-phobe at that time. Men scared me. True, I slightly flirted with everyone (male and female) when I was younger, but that was mostly due to residual niavete from my undergrad years, when most of my male friends were gay (whether or not they knew it at the time) and I was exploring myself and what kind of personality I was attracted to.

...one shudders to think of it.

As I've mentioned before, I have a close, life-long (older) friend with pancreatic cancer and two sickly parents to take care of (and set up doctors' appointments for). I just want to be left alone to say what I want on-line, and my trust in the people on that forum (who I did trust for quite a while) has been broken so badly that I don't think it will ever heal.

...you are, indeed, a heel who will NEVER heal.


I "fade in and out" because I have a lot of things going on in my life. Anyway, that is all that I have to say for now.

...you certainly do have a lot of issues...but no sickly parents...more of your lies.



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