Rooters: Assyrian King Known To Have Protested

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Posted by parhad ( on October 06, 2001 at 11:33:05:

A clay tablet has been just been deciphered by Dr. Leakey Beeksbottle of the British Museum in which the Assyrian King Shalmanessar is shown to have sent a protest to King Qumquat of Syriobabil about a broken treaty. This brings to 123 samples of newly discovered ancient "Assyrian Protest Texts" which are being collated and gathered together for publication by Dr. Simo Parpola at the University of Helsinki.

These documents reveal a fascinating side of the ancient Assyrians that scholars were completely unaware of...that Assyrian kings and leaders "protested" a lot more than they ever skinned people. This flies in the face of the last several generations of scholarship which followed Biblical traditions in which the Assyrians are NEVER displayed as the ferrocious "Protesters" we now know they were.

And it wasn't only treaty violations the Assyrians protested about. There are any number of examples of Assyrians protesting prices for fish in the markets of Nineveh, protesting the number of potholes on the road to Ashur, there are protests from neighbors about noise, and protests over congestion, traffic, the shortage of fertilizer, prices of commodities and on and on.

In the light of these recent discoveries, modern day scientists, who'd doubted the veracity of claims by modern day, so-called "Assyrians" that they were in any way, shape or form related to the ancients, have taken a renewed interest in these people and teams have been dispatched to interview residents in Chicago, Turlock and Detroit. Preliminary reports seem to justify the claims made by members of this community to be descended from the ancients...for one thing it's been noted that these communities also "protest" and that has led scientists to believe they might hope to find other links between them.

One member from the Chicago community even mounted a "Protest" against this sudden interest in "protests"...when he claimed they'd been "protesting" for years and years. "I protest this sudden interest in "Protesting" when we've been protesting that modern science's protests about our claims went unnoticed till new evidence of ancient Protests came along."

Whether a Protest Campaign against new found information of old protests will succeed or will be contested...or protested....ah.....

Rolf Dusseldorf

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