Reality Check

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Posted by parhad ( on October 07, 2001 at 10:27:47:

Let me quit being naive...the rest of us too...without too much effort and a bit of tweaking, I could write "out there". I mean for the white man and a general audience...and not be confined in here or subjected to "control" and the policies of a Hajjar or Jatou. Just as I could easily make my way "out there" as a I have and could do a lot more of.

So why don't I just "go" if I think I'm so hot, and leave these people to scratch themselves where they see fit? It's a good question and I admit I've never had a good answer for it. Americans know well enough that if you love America, you don't move to Italy to prove it. From the very beginning, about twenty years ago, I was told to go make a name for myself among "other people", then come back among my own and be "appreciated". Something is terribly wrong with that sentiment, all the more so because it has become a truism.

Why the hell should a kid have to go win the approval of the people down the street, the ones in the mansion, before his own parents value him, or her? Doesn't that indicate exactly the nature of what's wrong with those parents...that they have no sense of appreciation for what belongs to THEM...for what issues from their loins? And if I were to do such a thing, would it be "me"...THEIR child, that they would then show favor to, or would it be the fact that I was noticed by OTHERS? Why would the praise of others prove my child's worth? Unless I was trying to impress "others"...unless I felt inadequate in the eyes of those "others", and used my kid to see if we could "impress" we might feel of some worth.

Real value and worth is does not come from the outside but from within. If you are an empty shell no amount of praise(and praise for what if you ARE empty)will change that...and if you should become duped in that way, how are you anything else but a fool on top of an empty vessel?

If I get written up in the papers as a genius of a sculptor and my prices soar and Prince Charles invites me to fall asleep at some does that change me any? If it makes my people feel that I, and therefore they, am now worthy of praise or someone to be cherished...who's the fool?

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