Posted by Stella (140.192.18.47) on February 06, 2002 at 14:45:11:
So I turned 22 a couple of days ago and I don't think I like it too much. I feel like my youth has left me behind.
I got home early from school on my birthday and had some time to kill before running out on my next mission. I decided to watch some tv. The Great Gatsby was on AMC and since I hadn't seen it in quite some time, I decided to watch it. I got to the part where Daisy (played by the anorexic Mia Farrow), in her annoyingly dramatic way, tells Gatsby (played by studly young Robert Redford) why she didn't marry him eventhough she loved him ("..because haven't you heard? RIch girls don't marry poor boys!sob sob boohoo)-so when I got to that part, it dawned on me that I hadn't seen the movie or read the book in EIGHT YEARS! 8 years! That's 2 years shy of a decade. Almost a decade. Sweet Jesus, why don't you just take me home now.
Now I had never placed much value on age before this. TUrning 21 was no big deal. It just made me a consumer of alcohol that can buy the stuff legally. THats it. But 22? What's even remotely good about turning 22?
The Great Gatsby moment made me completely forget about the rest of the day. I started thinking about when adulthood officially began. I came to the conclusion that it began at 25, don't ask me how, I just did. SO this year, that made me 3 years away from adulthood, one year closer to adulthood,- could it be the adult responsibilities I'm freakin' out about? Like bills and mortgages ( i can never spell this damn word, mortage, morgage-could be a sign of going senile.)? Maybe, but I've already got enough bills to make me immune to new ones, and I'm not going to move away from my momma anytime soon. So what's the deal?
I then thought about what I had actually done in my life. In these...aw gawd...in these 22 to years of life that have just gone by in what seems like 22 seconds. Have I done anything monumental? Gone on any adventures? Anything exciting? Well, I did fake like I was severely claustrophobic at a Dave Matthews concert to get closer to him as he was walking off stage. I was this --->[ ]<--- close to jumping over the giant wall that separated me from my love. This hulking beast of a lady security guard was staring me down, so I got scared.
My friend and I tried to pull an Ocean's Eleven meets Swingers in Vegas last year. That was money baby, but unsuccessful.
Went to Boston, and San Fransisco...Boston was for fun, San Fransisco was for "business" but then turned out to be for fun. Ok so last year wasn't really a bore but I was enjoying my youth then! What do I have now?
Without even mentioning a word about my aging dilemma, my dear uncle gives me some words of wisdom on my birthday. He said "You know, there will always be times where you will feel young." Sweet mother of pearl! That's something you say to someone turning 40 or 100! Not 22...or so I thought.
Alright I think my arthritis is kicking in. I'm done venting for now.
Regretfully Old,
Stella