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Posted by pancho from ? ( on Monday, April 22, 2002 at 9:18AM :

How many different words are there for testicles?

uglies( as in "bump your uglies")

How many of those can I sneak into the court records on Tuesday? The court documents refer to Jackie's bull as being "gelded". That's the polite phrase and Jackie is always polite about these things. But being gelded doesn't really sink its teeth into don't lose your "gelds" lose your BALLS.

We'll dispense of the land swindle and the loan bulshit real in, "Ms Bejan do you have any documents". Then it will be on to the bull...I wonder if it will be "exhibits one and two"? Who else would find herself in Superior Court in the Sillycon Valley discussing these things in court...who else but that ball buster Jackie Bejan?

I would have to be insane, pathologically self-destructive to have "hurt" myself this way. What I am is bound and determined to get back at the people who hurt me behind everyone's back and thought they could get away with it. Everyone's advice to me was to "take it" for the sake of this or suffer such an indignity for the sake of living the rest of my life with my balls on that wall of hers as well.

I wouldn't have minded at all if the injury had been done just to me and my family. But in a very real sense Jackie injured us all...even as Nimrod and Golani do. That is what is unforgiveable. Jackie's need to dominate, to fuck over everyone who stands in her silly path to "glory", at the expense of what is good for this Heritage and our children, is what I can't let slide.

I've been told that I'm no different than Jackie or Nimrod or Dadeeshoo or Golani, all of whom say, "it has to be my way". That may be, but there is a vast difference between what we are trying to achieve. These others believe that by promoting themselves they are doing us a favor too. If we all chip in and dress them in fancy clothes and ridiculous titles we will be doing about as much as we can to put on a show of pride and achievement ourselves. Silly, unsophisticated people who are full of doubts and self-loathing would think like that. And that's just what they want, to keep you all that way so you'll remain easy pickings, even as they laugh up their sleeves at you.

These people are also amateurs who in no way could even begin to compete with the best and brightest OUT THERE. Who CAN'T run a Bingo Empire...who CAN'T set herself up as the leader of a community that doesn't have the leisure time to "lead"? Among Armenians Jackie would be a maid, not a queen. She has contempt for us just because she knows she has to "stoop to conquer" does Nimrod, who is only "Assyrian" since the Jews he lives with kicked him out of office.

But...they are the "best" you people can come up your own self-hatred is reflected back at you by leaders who hate you as well...even while they hate themselves for the failure in life that brought them down to your level.

I WANT to be here...I CAN go elsewhere, and do a hell of a lot better than I do here. I BELIEVE in us, in our ability to lift ourselves, to rise above whatever series of misfortunes have cost us our sense of worth and true pride. It does me no good to feel contempt for my would be an insult to myself to push us even lower so I could rise to the top. Top of what?

If I give in to them, let them have their way so I can get a buck or two more out of them...they win. I will feel nothing but contempt for myself and my work, which I will also have to mask over by buying things and driving fancy things. If Jackie wins, we all lose.

-- pancho
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