Hebrew Rag

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Posted by panch from inet-gto-aztecas-2-fddi5-0-0.uninet.net.mx ( on Tuesday, March 11, 2003 at 2:00PM :

Them old Hebrews were not well liked...in fact they hated each other most of all. They had these repulsive practices like fucking heifers, child ritual murder plus there wasn't a whole lot in the land that anyone could rightly envy them for so aside from pilfering what little they managed to scrape together periodically, no one really wanted to conquer their "kingdom". No one who had enough sheepshit already. The authors of, "The Bible and the Ancient Near East" proudly state that while the northern kingdom's cities were ransacked periodically and the people carried away to school by the Assyrians...no one managed to storm Jerusalem. I don't know if it ever occured to them that no one WANTED Jerusalem for anything. See they have this way of taking a thing no one wants anyway, then cooing and crying and getting all excited over it in hopes you'll think you missed something. They knew the value of rags and cast off things even back then.

When Abraham came among them and found his Yahwe hiding under a cactus in the desert...he took to wanting to reform all the Hebrews only they wanted no part of it. Belief in Ashur had some natural appeal to people, especially as his followers were so civilized about it, no need to kill anyone over it...Yahwe was a different matter and there were no lengths Hebrews didn't go to, or seize any opportunity, in order to avoid the old coot. They were happy as they understood the term, as they were. Eventually though the descendants of Abraham, the Israelites, managed to kill every Hebrew who disagreed and those left decided they'd seen the light. This child killing thing was their strongest and most enduring trait...it was their last resort to stave off defeat and they passed it on to people too unsuspecting to realize what it would come to mean...that "sacrifice" as a way of live and child rearing would be disasterous one day. They passed it on to the Christians in the form of one great big fat Child Sacrifice to end all sacrifices...God killed his own son, or himself if you have a strong stomach and aren't overly particular about good sense...and just as them Hebrews used to hope to overawe an attacking force with the awfulness of killing their firstborn, to get them to feel so badly they'd lift the seige and go home...so too have legions of preists tried to guilt induct legions of children by telling them this awful torture and murder of Jesus was done FOR THEIR SAKES...so WATCH IT...and don't be too upset cause it all works out in the end...Jesus didn't really mind..."and you oughtn't to either".

Now the Assyrians and Mesopotamians, by contrast, didn't go in for these sorts of things. See, there is a direct correlation between how much soap a people use and what sort of mind their god will have. The desert has produced all three "great" religions and all of them have done and hope to do a whole lot of killing on behalf of love and gentleness and all that. There isn't much soap on the desert. People tend to get dirty. Even without soap Muhammad realized he'd better add some water to the life of the desert dwelling Arabs so he made washing a religious ritual. So too did various prophets outlaw unclean food, pigs, bottom-feeders and things. They didn't have much they could do about it, only they knew being filthy and dirty was something to try to avoid...but they weren't successful. Dirty bodies and minds produce certain kinds of thoughts that bend towards certain kinds of gods. The gods of unclean people do terribly unclean things, like fuck heifers and kill unoffending children.

The Mesopotamians had plenty of water. They washed and bathed regularly. They liked being clean and they probably had less infestation and bugs than the Hebrews did...who all but gave up and decided to eat their friggin bugs, with honey of course. There is far less blood in Assyrian military practises than in in Hebrew fan tods, as there was a lot less of it in their daily lives. An Assyrian official, a Rabshakeh, tried to reason with the people of Jerusalem (as the Greeks would later discuss upcoming campaigns with their intended victims in order to strike a deal), telling them it was futile to resist, that their families would suffer needlessly and that the Assyrian monarch, who had interest in, desire to, or religious commandment ordering the killing of innocent people...and he had a much better place picked out for them to live where they could wash and worship as they pleased. When Hamath and the other rebellious cities are subdued, Sargon flays ONE MAN...the king Yaubidi who started the whole rebellion. What could be more magnanimous?

Simply because the postage sized "international empire" the Jews cobbled together and managed to maintain for three weeks...as well as their own piddling "kingdom" that soon came down to the city of Jerusalem surrounded on all sides by hostile Jews...just because whatever ANYTHING them old Hebrews had was patched together and held together with scads of gore and violence and ripping women open and killing animals and raping virgins and enslaving their own people...just because of their own miserable adventures in "civilization"...they ASSUMED that an empire as great as the Assyrian, so much greater than theirs ever was, MUST have been assembled and held together in the same way, only more so. Going by their own bloody methods to win a city...they could only imagine what similar horrors the Assyrians must have done to create the greatest empire of its day. But they were wrong. You can't build that kind of empire with blood and rape and you certainly can't keep it together that way...those ways will get you nothing but a "kingdom" made of one paltry city.

It's all in the defining, in who does the publishing and reviewing and influences the media. Today Palestinian youths are "terrorists", while heavily armed Israeli soldiers, stomping around illegally on Palestinian land are "keeping the peace". How much longer can this fiction be maintained...that when I break into your house and confine you to a closet...I have to take to patrolling the halls and rooms with a gun in order to "keep the peace". There was peace and plenty of it before I broke into that house. Them old Hebrews kill pregnant women, Hebrew women, rip them open...they kill two thirds of an entire population, they kill ALL Midianites, except for virgins whom Moses says the Israeli men should take for themselves, and their animals, even he that pisseth...and these things are glossed over...or pardoned because, "they were ordered to do it by a superior officer"...something many a Nazi in the dock at Nuremburg tried in vain to get off by claiming.

And the final irony of it all is that no Asstian can point these things out because, like it or not, that sort of person has accepted the very pinnacle of Jew thought and development by accepting either, or both, of them Testicles. Only an Assyrian who isn't about to be toyed with by them old Hebrew pals of ours, can see any of this or comment on it. Jesus is the Jews' gift to you Christians...all you had to do to take delivery was begin to believe that you NEEDED a Jesus...the rest was easy, the rest of it, the self-loathing...the insults levelled at your own ancestry while you exalt pig fuckers and sheepshitheders would flow naturally out of that.

To an Assyrian the whole thing is funny, funny and sad but understandable. After having been reduced, fallen from the heights of glory, to about the level of the old Hebrews and just a bit above abject slaves...you were ready for child sacrifice as a way to plead for some paltry thing or two...you were even ready for pig fucking, hence Jackie Bejan and Golani. Never used to being driven so low, you were ready for what looked like about the only way to salvage some self-respect...get another situation in Heaven, your lot on earth had deteriorated so badly. Well, it's been 2000 years of apologies and begging for this and whining for that. Feel better?

Today we're poised and ready to wash the dishes at the party celebrating the ultimate destruction of what little remains of our ancient glories and, unwelcome ever again in BetNahrain...go wandering among the Christians who "take us in"...so long as we don't resemble darkies too much...where we will disappear in no time as anything BUT Christians.

There is another way...but it calls for another sort of Assyrian. Our ride through history isn't over till we say it is. No matter how far we've fallen...no matter how much we've turned against ourselves...it only takes a handful, a remnant...and history is on our side....look at all we endured to still be here. If we can survive Christianity...nothing can destroy us.

-- panch
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