Dust To Dust

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Posted by farid from customer-148-223-66-104.uninet.net.mx ( on Thursday, August 07, 2003 at 12:50PM :

Assyrians are consumned with self-loathing. They claim they've been treated like shit in the Muslim world, not because of anything Assyrian about them...hell Muslim Assyrians and those Christians who didn't insist on carrying a Cross to the office, did quite well in the Mideast. It was for their Christian religion they were persecuted...and not even for the religion itself but for the disgusting, duplicitous, treacherous things they did in the name of and for the sake of this religion.

There are countless examples of Christin Assyrians being aided by Muslims in time of danger and many Muslim and Christian families lived side by side and were best of pals and yes, even the unthinkable, Muslim and Christian fell in love...made love, married and had children...HO-ROORS! "Have you FORGOTTEN 1435 and what about SIMELE???"

It's the Christian Assyrians and those not-so-Christian ones who nonetheless use the injuries suffered by the Christians to feather their own heads that are the scourge of this noble name they shit all over. They are the ones who will not tolerate excellence...or allow us to move beyond...into at least the 18th century. Treated like crap...and deservedly so, they have come to enjoy and expect and only feel comfortable living in, dealing in and extolling crap. So much so that they now prefer a constant, steady diet of shit...you know...get's them pity and seems to emulate their Jew Lord...especially if they "embrace" the shit...swallow it uncomplainingly, like "He" did. For them to see an Assyrian pass on a plate of shit and insist on going to eat with the upright Humans instead is not only a rejection and a mockery of "all they suffered" for you-know-who...but risks their very definition, by now, of what it MEANS to be Assyrian.

The only praise they'll give, the only excellence they'll allow is the kind that can come to anyone doing anything that has nothing "Assyrian" about it (just like their Jew religion has nothing Assyrian about it). Becomming a medical doctor is about the highest achievement to them because it has nothing to do with being Assyrian. Assyrian medicine isn't practised anywhere any more. The kind that is taught is about as non-Assyrian as you can get. Same with engineering, accounting...you name it...so long as it is Assyrian-free...so long as it's something done by all people...it's okay and more than that...it's the only thing an Assyrian with any "pride" should aspire to.

Other people write books, write plays, dance, sing, write music, write poetry...paint, sculpt...but not us. We can do these things if we work for someone else...an Englishman or a Jew on THEIR projects...but to do them AS Assyrians is about the greatest folly and shame there can be...and they WILL make you suffer for it. Actually, to really show pride as an Assyrian...NOT a Christian/Assyrian...is what these people hate and fear most of all. Because if we do that...and if we transmit that feeling to our children for only a few generations...we'll be done with all this eating of shit the Church derives its income from and continues to awe us with trifles through.

Assyrian pride is the biggest threat of all to Christian Assyrians. That's why it comes in such mealy-mouthed and infantile forms when it shows at all. The real thing would shoot the cross right out their arses.

The absolute dearth and absence of any Assyrian achievements in the world, AS ASSYRIANS, is the result of all of this wailing for Jerusalem for 2000 years. We dismiss the few poets and writers and artists we have...who've insisted on working AS Assyrians...because they threaten the franchise...which is supposed to remain a bloody, pathetic thing, hugging that friggin cross, begging for the world's pity and Yahwe's mercy. And you can't feel that way about being Assyrian and hope to have the guts or fire in the belly...which you're going to need if you want to get out there and compete with all those other ethnic types who DON'T feel ashamed of themselves...and therefor don't behave in ways to BRING shame on themselves.

In my own case I can see now how my work, the quality of it as well as the enthusiasm for it, was slipping over time...not that anyone cared to notice and it wasn't that obvious...I don't mean I was turning out shit work on purpose. What I see now is that I was becomming less and less inclined to attempt my best. I knew I was going to be vilified regardless...so why bust my ass to do my best, when all I'd get for it would be an even bigger broken heart? In fact...it might have been the case that I secretly felt that the better I did, the MORE I'd get slammed. Look at the facts...the Ashurbanipal took four years and went up almost as soon as it was finished...then word spread, feathers got ruffled, leaders were threatened...and Shumirum took 13 years and still isn't installed...and why...because of ONE ASSYRIAN CHRISTIAN DOG...and then another BITCH. It wasn't the fault of the artwork...the statues passed the most rigorous qualifications...it was the shabby state of "Assria" that did it in.

It amazes me, when I think back on it...how quickly the people at beth and aina jumped on the photos of sculpture I placed there and slammed them and insulted them, (tried belittled me...by saying I was out to "make money"...like they live to eat peanuts...on shit)... as if their lives depended on it...and they DO. Their lives as Assyrians, their definition, depend upon shoody shit work...whether it's Aprim's Hysterical Histories...or Hanna's cartoons...or any of the "brothers and sisters" who support each other best when they're all grovelling on their knees under the Lord's lash.

How DARE an Assyrian stand up and walk away...and worse than that...how DARE he succeed? How dare he THINK he or she WILL succeed? Not if they have anything to do about it!

I used to dread showing my work, not because I was afwaid of cwitticism...but because it hurt to know that the poudest, most "patriotic" people, were also going to be the stupidest...that our brainy ones, considered it a mark of their intelligence, their being "above the fray" to say or do nothing to help raise the standard and chase the shitheads away for a change.

Now, sent packing by Nimrod, Bejan and Golani, I long to do my best...I think of the unknown customer who's going to walk by my sculpture and I want to do the level of work that will stop him or her in his or her tracks (get's awkward I know...but so what). Among Assyrians, if I worked away late into the night to do my best, I could count on a handful of individuals being "really tempted" and a whole host of others sneering, leering and setting about to spread rumors that I deal drugs in Mexico...which is only one of the ones started years ago...or Jackie's, "he came to my kitchen door begging for food so I gave him some groceries for his children." Ashur help us!

I'm free of all that now...and it feels wonderful. But I proved my point, which was the real "monumental work" I set out to do...an obvious one that shouldn't have needed proving...we Assyrians can be up there with the best of them...and not just in Medicine and Accounting...we can get there in the Humanities as well...which, let's face it, is the only avenue through which our legacy survived. You may smile condescendingly when informed about ancient Assyrian medical techniques...but you aren't going to smile that way, not today and not 2000 years from today, when you gaze up into the face of a Lamasu.

There is, or was, within the Assyrian community a handful of individuals who were willing to take a risk, yes even a financial one, on an untried artist...who were able to tolerate the idea that we too could ask for and deserve a place of pride...in the sun...before the world and OFF our knees....And there are the artists in the community who can stand on that stage...to get to which takes real pride, not this shabby pride-in-shit we've been conditioned to wallow in by our clergy. The rest will be either indifferent or try like hell to tear you down...insult your mother, your children...embarrass your patrons and supporters...anything and everything because they are desperately afraid that shit will no longer be tolerated as the safest and best example of what it means to be Assyrian..to be a poor, to-be-pitied miskeena, persecuted Assyrian...when all they really are is a low level approximation of a Jew...ones who were easily duped by European reformed Jews.

Ibbli ibbili ibbilli...That's All Folks!

-- farid
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