Posted by farid from ? (200.94.236.62) on Wednesday, September 24, 2003 at 12:13PM :
...Presenting that gasseous erruption, three-time national runner-up and four-time tag team finalist...the assyyyyrIAN VolCanOOOOOOO!!!
YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
Lay in bed last night reading and the image of a beefy guy in spandex tutu with a hood and cape bearing the Assyrian Flag done up in satin and bangles...pumping his fat arms in the air yelling..."AH---SHUR AH---SHUR...while the crowd at the Modesto Hippodrome chanted back "NIN---VEH NIN---VEH"...kept insinuating itself and cracked me up every time. Had to put the book aside finally and laugh myself to sleep.
It's one of those images you tuck away in a corner of your head for a rainy day...the kind of day when one more Diclaration is diclared by one more dichead and you need something desperately to leaven your depression with...and there it is, thanks to Tiglath...the "Assyrian Volcano" straddling the ropes on his way into the ring...his volcanic spandexed arse stretched tight as he sqeezes through. Gawd. How can anyone, let alone a Nayshun, exist without humor...and we're so damn funny!
Take Sadie for instance. Now she's undoubtedly one brilliant person...you can tell because she's so damn flighty and high-strung. I don't know if it's delayed puberty, chronic puberty or just plain Humungous Puberty...but the hormonal tides that wash over that drear student would leave anyone a nervous wreck. And she's found her soulmate in Alexander, or whetever her name is...who took such umbrage at a comment directed at Sadie that she stalked off the set in a powder-puff huff. This is what I was talking about when I said why bother coddling and mollying people...for what? To have more airheads posting? To appear to be "popular" to the likes of Shlimoon or BooHoo? It's best to know where you stand from the outset...no need to build a foundation on whipping cream just because it's sweet and gooey. Those are not good indicators for a time when you might need some sand in the guts.
Reminds me of when I was in college taking a history course in which one pimply-faced bastard so got on my nerves as he blathered on about how it was America's "White Man's Burden" next to save the world from the people in it, that I up and walked out of class in a huff. It was either that or bite the prick. During the break my prof came up to me and said, "is that how you're going to handle things when it gets to be tough going". I felt two-inches tall...like Golani must feel all the time.
If you stroke these people constantly...reaffirm their vast intelligence...laugh at their jokes, tell them they're really REALLY pretty...cry with them...support them in everything they come up with...express your heartfelt appreciation several times a day and generally behave towards them like they were made of glass mounted on egg shells...you'll have the doubtfull privillege of their input. But why? In the name of all that's sane...what can you possibly do with such people? Unless of course you don't plan to do much else but be "popular" and decorate your forum with bric-a-brac.
If people who read here, as well as the ocasional hardy fool who dares venture a post, can't find reason enough in and of itself to do so...who gives a shit? What do they think this is anyway...aina?
The Beastmasters at the other forums are "brothering" this one and "sistering" that one...making a safe-heaven for every illiterate horse's ass we have... while banning and deleting and smearing those who don't agree with them and are too articulate about it. Meanwhile I'm telling people to go fuck themselves if they don't like the atmosphere...but that they're welcome to post whatever they like and, incidentally, call me any names they want to. One of those approaches is Assyrian, or should be.
-- farid
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