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=> Is This Any Way To Treat An Assyrian?

Is This Any Way To Treat An Assyrian?
Posted by parhad (Guest) - Thursday, August 19 2004, 18:55:50 (CEST)
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....So, I went to Mexico City yesterday, about 150 miles away, to deliver the moulds and waxes of the unicorn sculpture. The piece was commissioned by a Mexico City couple. The woman has been in love with unicorns her whole life practically...they symbolize strength and power and creativity to her and her husband and two daughters have followed her lead. Their home in Mexico City is filled with unicorn sculptures including one made by a rather famous sculptor here. On one wall of the huge living room, up by the ceiling, is a rather large stained glass window they had made showing the entire family as unicorns..father, mother and two young unicorns.

The size of the one I made seems a bit large even for their living room...but who am I?

And that's what was so interesting about yesterday...I mean that I would think that what happened was extraordinary...when in fact it was the most sensible and natural thing in the world.

Those of you who have read my weepy, bitter, sob stories about what happens to you in our community if you dare wipe your arse with toilet paper instead of Ashur...might recall that Atour"Down Here"Golani took it upon himself to have my sculptures welded the way he thought they should have been..and by those great folks who can't make a Ford right...where he works in Dearborn, Michigan. That wasn't the first time my work received substantial re-direction from Assyrian engineers, short order cooks and accountants. You might recall that Homer "Simpson" Ashurian insisted that horns on Assyrian helmets were really a Viking design and forced me to remove the horns from the helmet of Sargon the Great.

Just as there isn't really anything you have to do in order to be a great Assyrian..there isn't much for you to do if you decide to dictate how a sculptor sculpts or what colors a painter should limit himself to..I mean who do we Assyrian artists think we are...White people? I've been asked so often to match my sculpture to the existing decor of an overblown Assyrian house that's either got a fever or a hard-on that I take it for granted that I'm merely a carpenter's assistant who's employed by someone to make them a "thing" they don't really need anyway and don't want disrupting the serene environment they got from Sears furniture department...Macy's, if they're really putting on the dog.

So...there I am at the foundry, waiting for the couple to show up to approve the waxes...rather just see that I actually delivered them before making the next payment...which is no problem as they hardly know me and I'm a foreigner...Iraqi at that. They arrive, they see the waxes...three guys are already at work getting them ready to cast...the owner says he'll have it all ready in a month...we'll see.

As we're chatting away I suggest they look at some samples of the kinds of patinas available with this kind of bronze. The owner brings out small pieces of flat bronze each with a patina ranging from black, to green, blue and various shades of copper...some looking very like caramel...I explain that we can add a bit of white to any color they like..then step back and ask them to choose which they prefer...certain they'll be thinking of the walls, the paint, curtains, seat cushions, bric-a-brac and all those things that determine good taste in household furnishings AND art.

What's my surprise when, after looking at each other in some dismay, they both turn to me and say that it's my sculpture and they want me to make those sorts of decisions.

What's this? Do these people NOT know that I am a "great" Assyrian sculptor..who's hands have been blessed and kised as often as his arse would have been had he played Assyrian Roulette? Are they seriously going to leave it up to ME to decide the patina on my own sculpture...do they not realize that they PAID for it...that their MONEY was used and not mine? Have these people NO sense of how you get great or even good art...by TELLINg the artist what to do...like you direct any other whore you bought and paid for...getting about the same good sex as you do good art when you do either? And never knowing the difference?

I felt a little silly even agreeing to such a thing..it struck me as odd...and then it struck me even odder that it struck me odd in the first place.

I was oddstruck. I'm over it now. Imagine, having a say so in the way your art leaves your hands. I bet I could have painted it purple even. Rabel...come to Mexico...you might not become a GREAT Assyrian painter here...but you WILL be able to use whatever colors you want.



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