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=> ...nothing wrong with her!!!

...nothing wrong with her!!!
Posted by pancho (Guest) - Wednesday, May 25 2005, 15:37:34 (CEST)
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And I appreciate your sweet kind genuine concern but for the first time since all these problems on these forums started I am fine I am not scared or hurt or insulted and if the Jesus of my childhood religion gave me that comfort when I was feeling defamed and battered then only good is there in that I admit I did just read on that forum that for awhile now every other post is defaming insulting mocking and lying about me but now I won't let it hurt or insult me and I do find it weird that since I have only said nice things to that guy and even when he mocked and insulted me returned it with giving words which he distorts to smarminess and now he is saying that he bets I shoot him one day and all kinds of things calling me looney and like a religious intolerant and now he has even incited a mail club against me and people how have only read his distorted psychoticly defaming postings against me are saying how I am everything wrong with Assyrians and one guy said that I am the reasona an agnostic like him has had problems and I don't really care what they say but if that guy is reading I too am agnostic but I have always said I had a bit of gnostic type christianity and I know Jesus and his teachings are divine and I felt his presence and had a vision and heard his words and if that makes me a nut to them then they are the ones being intolerant religiously and I have ALWAYS spoken for tolerance of all relgiions even though I believe none of them and on the myy shooting him comments since I have only siad nice things to him and even with all this still only have love in my heart and thankfully no more hurt but I have never done a violent thing and not a violent tendancy so that is the worst of all his defamations and the only thing I did was with a few lying insulting psychotics on these forums was when it got too much bombarding me with it I insulted them back and then twisters like him and others not to be mentioned twist it out of proportion to make me the monster and all I did was pray to help me deal with this bomabardment and I got help from a religion I did once loose but I still only believe in Jesus in a gnostic kind of way and am not some crazy fanatic now that I have had another spiritual experience I still promote tolerance for all or NO religions and the irony is that they are now making me out to be a christian fanatic who will mock them when I have spent the past year defending anyone of any religion not to be mocked nor persecuted for their religion and the sad thing is that people that only read on his forum have this distorted horrendous monsterous view of me when i fyou read I said I have no hate for him and even with his mocking and lying about me and demonizing me over there for having so much love which he can't believe is real so must be smarmy fraud and I still have no hate for him and still think that there is a good person even though his current round of defamations are digging it in much deeper and I have never had an violence and even getting angry and insulting takes a lot and yes I have felt victimized on these forums and the irony is that I Finally found a spiritual ccenter for it to not bother me and it doesn't anymore and now they are mking fun of that and in conclusion they just have nothing better to do than make fun of people and lie and defame them and the worst part is now he seems to be inciting every nut that follows him to hate me and want to make their rants against me even though this guy did not even know who this "character" was but had all this rage against me and it is sad but I won't hate them and I will pray for them And I have not suddenly found Jesus as they are making me sound nutty in a psychotic delusional halucinating way and when you find God in prayer as I said I did that is what prayer does and does not make you nutty any more than beleiving in Ashur would make them nutty as I have heard thos same people talk about tapping into the power of Ashur and his protection etc. and all religions are nutty but I believe in nothing supernatural except the holyspirit and that is how I believe we can be touched by Jesus as I have now and previously and we have freedom of religion and I still support anyone to belive everything or nothing so they had no right to then make me out to be someone persecuting them when it was them persecuting me about finding my faith again and I grew up christian then become agnostic and then a gnostic christniaty mixed with agnotism but I have ALWAYS said that I find Jesus' teachings divine and have felt both his presence and the holy spirit in my life, and all I did was pray for that to help me to follow his teachings so I stop reacting to insults and harassment so I don't insult back and then let his teachings make me feel the need to apologize only to be then insulted for the apology and as I was praying (with my eyes closed) I saw a vision of him and heard him tell me to return hate with love and pray for those that attack me and I felt that holy spirit peace and love and compassion that came to me once before in my life and that is not nutty like he says and myabe if he thought I was up and walking around and saw and felt jesus presence but it was while praying as a lot of people including Muslims feel god's presence while praying and have visions of him and hear his teachings that they read so much explained to them in a meditative prayer dream like state and even our ashurists use to have communion with him and all their other gods but people like that guy can only understand the kind of worship that he would get at the temple goddess and thanks to all who pushed me with the mocks attacks here and the previous email threats and the mocks and attacks on insideassyria forum for you helped me to understand how no one can hurt me and the only reason that I was in such turmoil was that I needed my faith and I was forgetting the real meaning of it and the real existence of Jesus and the holy spirit that I had felt before so thank you for your trying to destroy me saved me and to Emil or whoever that emailer was I respect love and fight for the rights of gay people so don't let those distorted lying viscous hateful posts make you prejudged someone who you yourself say you don't know who they are but from what some guy who is ranting and defaming everyone tries to paint me as and I Don't know why the sudden excessive hate and lies there but I assume the mocks before were just a sick need for fun at someone elses expense and the attackers sent here was to stop my Assyrianism but the viscousness of this latest round was cause I asked him to stop mocking and asked him why all the hate and if I am seen as a neurotic nut for apologizing for making minor insults back to people evilly viscously attacking me by the dozens with anonymous names and real hate and petty cruelty who dont' even know me then what does that say for them for doing that and for that guy on that forum for going into hyperdrive every other post saying viscous vulgar cruel twisted things to paint me as a horrible person and get these emailers thinking that is who I am that they can then rage on about a complete stranger like me and it is sad and I Feel bad for them that their lives are so empty that they need to put all this time and attention and hate into me but they have wasted enough of my time and energy but they really need hobbies or jobs if lil ol me is so important to get all these posts and emotions but thank you to them for first they tried to drive me insane with their constant barrage but now they made me realize truths beyond what I already thought I knew And the biggest joke about those rants is the one saying that I am a typical Assyrian Christian who hates arabs and homosexuals and has a narrow mind of religion etc. when I have been not only beat up by this guy and his thugs but also by those thinking I am too agnostic and can't only believe in Jesus without believing every word of the bible and that I don't hate arabs and have promoted tolerance and how many debates have GS and I gotten into where I defended gays and evolution and tolerating all religions and my skepticism on the bible stories and so just because my religion says that but also believes Jesus and his teachings were divinely sent and that we can find our own communion with them as I have and now I am the closed minded conservative and gee GS makes me the too openminded liberal and the distorted postings on me do the opposite and I am glad that it only makes me smile and laugh now for all these people taunting me and my sanity turns out they are the nuts who just want to rip into people cause they have so much emptiness inside of them and that emailer goes on about how I think everything is about me and paranoid about everyone trying to hurt me etc. and yet there have been dozens of postser attacking me and every other post on that forum is insulting and mockign and now visocously attacking me and that guy thinks someone is going to shoot him who has only said she has love for him and now that is paranoid and neurosis so all they say about me I now realize can't hurt me nor insult me for they really are talking about themselves and that emailer went on about how his post about me made him see me as this selfcentered egomaniac like he feels all assyrians are and yet he goes on about how HE is going to save us all with his insights and he is the only one that has open mind and true knowledge etc. etc. and I guess instead of being insulted I should have compassion for they really are just insulting themselves so how can I get insulted or angry when they have actually helped me by going to over the top ridiculous that they drove me to look for my faith and in the balance I found out that they are the crazy paranoid ones and you can't let a crazy person insult you or you are indeed the crazy one.

holy SHIT!!!!

You realize of course that you can cut and shred this up, rearrange it in any order or at random, or make it into a continuous loop and you`ll get the same effect...a mind unravelling.



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