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Assyrians & Alcoholism
Posted by Emil (Guest) squaremoon@emilsdiary.com - Sunday, October 23 2005, 23:42:29 (CEST)
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Not too long ago someone at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting said, "I didn't think I was an alcoholic because there are no Greek alcoholics!" Everyone in the room laughed, not because we thought the man was an idiot but because we could all identify.
I understand this way of thinking. We do it, too. "There are no Assyrian alcoholics, homosexuals, drug addicts, etc. etc." It's as though by denying this we are somehow MORE Christian and upstanding.
"Only Americans struggle with these deviations. They're filthy animals." Surely we're trying to fool ourselves out of a deep-seated sense of loss and shame by putting others down- underhandedly elevating ourselves.
But, as we all know we are ultimately cheating ourselves. By denying our own fallibility we are denying the golden opportunity to recover, to get better, to learn, and to grow in ways we could not have imagined.
Maybe this lack of imagination is another aspect of our ailment, our denial, our faulty thinking.
Speaking for myself, I was raised to cheat myself. Emotionally, spiritually. I was only encouraged monetarily, materialistically. Of course, my parents and extended family, who were all of a like mind, didn't conspire to sabotage me; they thought they knew what was right for me. No one ever encouraged an expression of independent thought, revolutionary ideas. No one fostered emotional vulnerability.
In fact, the message in our home, though a silent one, was, "You do not ask for help. You do not come to us with your fears, doubts, questions about life, God, sex. We have suffered enough. Keep quiet. And become a doctor or a lawyer."
It was quite the tall order not to burden the people who were supposedly my mentors, guides, care-givers.
And yet it was completely acceptable to harbor the deepest and most toxic of resentments and to blow up at each other. To row. To barter. To blackmail... emotionally. Unknowingly.
Until I was in my early twenties I thought I was the only queer Assyrian. By now I was prodigeously exhausted and could not concentrate on my education- I had been struggling since my teens, if not earlier, to survive as a gay youth in a deeply and profoundly homophobic family tableau.
Now as a recovering alcoholic I am certain that I am not the only one. I've been to straight meetings here in Chicago, as well as gay and mixed. But where are the other recovering Assyrian alcoholics? Surely they're out there.
Surely YOU'RE out there.
Or, are you?
If there are no "Assyrian alcoholics" how can there be "Recovering Assyrian alcoholics"?
We have to admit that we are human, as "flawed" as Americans and Muslims. Why do we insist on being unique?
We're not. Assyrians are not unique. We are as desirous and susceptible to life on earth as any man and woman.
Not only do I wonder where the other recovering Assyrian alcoholics are but I wonder why there are no Assyrian-speaking meetings?
Oh, yeah. We have to do everything in shame and in silence. I forgot.
If you're Assyrian- and I'm assuming there's someone other than Farid, Jeff, and me reading on this forum- and struggling with alcoholism you do not have to suffer this DISEASE alone, in shame- there is a miraculous resource out there called "Alcoholics Anonymous".
It is a twelve-step recovery program founded in Akron, Ohio, by alcoholics for alcoholics. A.A. is the first such program which gave birth to all other 12-step programs dealing with other addictions.
A.A. meetings exist nearly everywhere in the world. In many countries and in many languages. It is true that anyone can start or hold an A.A. meeting. Two alcoholics sitting together in a room talking about their experience, sharing strength and hope, is considered a meeting.
The founders actaully floundered for some time before they got A.A. finetuned. They came up with the twelve TRADITIONS that have kept A.A. alive and useful for millions of recovering alcoholics.
Here they are:
1. Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close after.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.
3. Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
4. With repsect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought ot be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.
5. Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose- that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
6. Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of geuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A. such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the group. Hence such facilities ought not use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A.- and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.
7. The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. we think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then, too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.
8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we might otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. Twelfth Step work is never to be paid for.
9. Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. The small group may elect its secretary, the large group its rotating committee, and the groups of the large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committe, which often employs a full-time secretary. The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Serivce Committee. They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office in New York. They are authorised by the group to handle our overall public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principal newspaper, the A.A. Gravevine. All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. They derive no real authority from their titles; they do not givern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness.
10. No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues- particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.
11. Our relations with the general public should be characterised by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our (full) names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principal of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.
12. And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principal of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principals before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.



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