Posted by Sadie from D007123.N1.Vanderbilt.Edu (18.104.22.168) on Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 1:59AM :
In Reply to: You would be happy to know then..... posted by Semi-Anonymouse from 22.214.171.124.cfl.rr.com (126.96.36.199) on Friday, June 13, 2003 at 11:09PM :
How do you like your lintels? Dressed or plain?
I'll promote you to husband #10 for those kind words of yours. You WERE #20 & dropping, until you put me at #1. Now, for you to get to #1 (& my cooking improves with each slot you ascend), there are quite a number of hoops that you must jump through... unless you like mediocre lintels, that is.... If you can answer each of the following questions with a "yes", you can move up one slot in my list of favorite husbands:
CAN you make me laugh for hours? Tickling doesn't count.
ARE you strong enough to carry me if I ever fall & have to be carried to the nearest emergency room or ambulance? EVEN if I have lost all control of my bodily functions?
Will you give me your coat when it is cold outside & I am shivering?
WILL you help me carry heavy objects, even without my asking for your help?
CAN you slay a dragon if it offends or threatens me?
CAN you steer a ship by yourself, using only the stars to navigate?
DO you command respect with just your mere presence?
CAN you make a fortune out of nothing?
Are you smart enough to make an airplane out of 3 wire hangers, a few sheets of paper, & 2 nail clippers & wise enough to know not to try to fly it?
& most importantly, can you bullshit your way out of any situation you want to? Figuring this one out will let you jump to #1 in no time.
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