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Posted by Sadie from ? ( on Monday, June 16, 2003 at 4:51PM :

In Reply to: Re: well... posted by Sadie from ? ( on Monday, June 16, 2003 at 4:32PM :

: I'm only saying "the other person" because I don't want to name names.

xxx In other words, it sounds frightfully impersonal & abstract to say "the other person," but I don't want to say, for instance, my name & my ex's name or mention the names of the individuals in other couples I know. What's really a problem is that so many people think that "love" is merely enough, & then they go about choosing a significant other as if that person was a flavor of soft drink, the decision based ONLY on initial lust feelings. It should be clear who one is REALLY interested in - lust & intellectual interest should show this - & if there is no one who stands out, take a step back & wait a bit longer. & over time, a stronger form of love takes over the lust (or it doesn't), & that other person becomes your best friend & your main advocate to the world - & one does the same for that other person - the couple becomes a team.

xxx It's not a recipe - just something that I've seen in other, really happy couples. What we see on TV pales next to, is a pathetic comparison with, the types of relationship these happy couples I know seem to feel. I don't want some trashy, cheap version of a relationship - I want the real deal, where I & my significant other can both strive to better ourselves & just genuinely enjoy each other's company together until the day that we die.

xxx I mean, who CAN'T be a trophy wife? Anyone can be a trophy wife (or trophy husband, a trend right now). & anyone can get married & feel like they are "in love." It takes *genuine* love & respect for one another & a lot of work (fueled by that love) to have something that lasts. & this goes for homosexual relationships, as well (according to my friends who are homosexual).

-- Sadie
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