That should be on Dave Letterman!

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Posted by Jeff Atto from ( on Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 3:10PM :

In Reply to: David Chibomans Top 10 posted by Tiglath from ( on Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 12:40PM :

*** I love you in a non-homosexual way.

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: The Top 10 ways to tell if you have a religiously based identity.

: 10. All your winged bull sculptures, pictures, logos, t-shirts have their genetalia removed in order to protect the innocent.
: 9. Your Assyrian flag has the symbol of our God Ashur removed in order not to blaspheme against Yaweh, the Judeo-Christian god.
: 8. You issue Diclarations denouncing their plans whenever our churches look like they’re beginning to unite under the name of our two main churches.
: 7. You threaten to kill your sister if she marries an Assyrian-Muslim, but offer to help pay for the wedding if she marries a Christian-American.
: 6. You have vowed to one day take a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and not Nineveh.
: 5. You deny Saddam Hussein is of Assyrian descent but force Andre Agassi to announce to the world his true Assyrian identity.
: 4. You claim that “we speak the same language as Jesus,” and not “that Jesus spoke our language.”
: 3. You’re Christian name is the name of one of Jesus’s apostles.
: 2. You blame the Iraqis for the American led sanctions and the American led and illegal invasion of the sovereign state of Iraq (Assyria).

: And now for the top way to tell if you have a religiously based identity is………(drum-beat)

: 1. You claim that Assyrian-Muslims don’t exist!

-- Jeff Atto
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