so I suck sometimes (not in THAT way).

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Posted by Lilly from ? ( on Monday, July 08, 2002 at 4:40PM :

In Reply to: Lilly Has Been Banned From Here posted by panch from ( on Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 10:06PM :

: I didn't want to blow it for her...poor thing. She made such a moral point of going to aina. I don't want you guys thinking she really wanted to go there. I banned her.

xxx Well, OK, so I was a bit annoyed at you when I went over to AINA... that's true... it's not the ONLY reason I was posting at AINA - I figured that posting articles on AINA would allow them to be read by a larger readership (that actually may need to read these things more than anyone here) & their ban on you had lifted, so I could post there, frequently, without going back on my promise not to post there because you were banned. I was pissed that they banned you again, though. I think you make very good points about things, politically, from both a local & international perspective, & even though sometimes I don't agree with what you write, for whatever reason, I think your political perspective is valuable to the community.

Honestly, I think you're brilliant as an artist, & pretty good as a political analyst. For whatever they're worth, those are my opinions about you.

But sometimes I wish you'd follow through on some of the suggestions you make (about that raffle for Lina)... when you don't follow through on these things, I start to worry that you might only make these suggestions to make yourself look better. (Sorry, I've just come to realize that there are a lot of assholes in this world who do things like that). But then, I also realize that you can't control everything, & that lawsuit is probably sucking up time & energy that you could be using to create more sculptures for the Assyrian cause & raise awareness for Lina's desperate situation. She's not a pawn, she's not someone whose name should be dragged into this lawsuit carelessly like Jackie is doing with Jeff - Lina's human (so beautiful & strong!), she's incredibly ill, & she deserves much better than what anyone, anything - even life - has given her.

& then there's the sometimes accusatory tone you take or the insinuations you make about people... sometimes, I think you're probably right, & other times I'm convinced that you're not. I don't know the people you talk about, but I do know some of the people that post here via email. & I honestly got so sick of these arguments we were having... they're so trivial, so petty... I fully acknowlege my part in these arguments, I take full blame for writing some inappropriate things, too. BUT god, there are people starving to death every day or being murdered by homicidal regimes (including the US government) or being manipulated into ernestly believing in social constructs - I'd rather spend my time thinking about these things than worrying about what anyone's saying or thinking about me. So, it's more my battle than yours, in some sense... I suppose I have to learn not to respond to some silly or inflammatory things & to focus on more important things.

-- Lilly
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