Posted by Ashur Bar Ninvayah from adsl-67-37-176-40.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net (126.96.36.199) on Friday, October 25, 2002 at 1:37AM :
Dear Lead Head Fred,
I couldnít decide whether I should use Dead Head or Lead Head. I decided to use Lead Head, because I was raised to respect my elders. If I had used Dead Head that would be disrespectful; you see thereís always hope for a Lead Head.
Well, I just came back to tell you that maybe I havenít lived long enough to have your experience, but one of these days I will. When that day arrives Iím coming back to kick your butt. Not out of vengeance, mind you. Iím going to do it to teach you a lesson and maybe to learn something about myself. You won the first round, Lead Head, but thatís only because youíre a cynical, old geezer. I lost it because I let your, lost generation, decadent, liberal, hip-hop, pop culture lingo get under my skin. Instead of beating you on my own terms, which I can do any day of the week, I let my inexperience drag me down to your level. Not with the sewage-filled syllable strings that gush from your pie hole, but the nonsense and the doublespeak that radiates from the void between your ears. See, Iím still doing it, but what can I say, I donít see a normal lifespan for my generation, so I tend to be a little impulsive. Since Iíll be going back home very soon, this will probably be my last opportunity to unload this monkey on my back. And as difficult as this is for me Iím going to grit my teeth and say it: I went over the line in, ďThank You Fred.Ē Not that I didnít mean it, but I broke my own code of conduct, so Iím admitting I was wrong.
Iíd stay and chat, but itís time to pack my bagís. I have to leave in a couple of days and I probably wonít be back for quite a while, but I wonít forget you Lead Head. Iíll be back one day and if your Forum is still alive and kicking, youíll be hearing from me.
Oh, by the way, I donít want to leave you with the impression that Iím totally preoccupied with the serious side of life, so I thought Iíd close with a little humor.
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites.
Consider the list below to see how you rate.
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
-- Ashur Bar Ninvayah
-- signature .
Post a Followup